Category: DECEPTION

  • Deception Episode 26

    Deception Episode 26

    DECEPTION 

    Deception Episode 26

    I held my belly again not able to believe that I was finally going to hold my own child, I had been sick the last thirty days and I was convinced that it’s because I had witnessed Chimuka murder the vice president. I took a bold step the previous week and was told that I was five weeks up. Five months since my husband discovered that his tea had been drugged for I don’t know how long, five months since I started living in fear and along the way I guess the drug must have lost its strength because how then can you explain my being pregnant.

    I kept debating if at all I should let Justin know or maybe keep it to myself, we had by all means avoided the President and I had finally resigned because I did not want anything to do with the state after all the secrets I had discovered along the way.

    ‘You have been lost in thought.’ I heard Justin say

    ‘Well hai, I did not hear you come in.’ I told him as I pulled on my Jersey

    ‘How are you feeling?’ he asked as he came to kiss my cheek

    ‘I am good thank you, how was work?’ I asked him

    ‘It was the same.’ He answered with a sadness

    ‘What exactly is happening to you?’ I asked him

    Justin had been acting strange of late, despite the fact that we were trying to patch things up I knew that he was not the same. And I was really getting worried

    ‘It’s nothing baby, I don’t want to worry you.’ He told me

    ‘No babe tell me, you haven’t been yourself of late and that is enough reason for me to be worried.’ I responded

    ‘Well.’ He began

    ‘I am all ears.’ I answered

    ‘It’s the President babe.’ He said

    I sighed, I dreaded anything to do with that man, and I didn’t want to hear anything concerning him. He had turned out to be the worst nightmare.

    ‘You see why I didn’t want to mention his name.’ he said lifting my chin

    ‘We better get it over with, sooner or later I will find out.’ I told him

    ‘He has been giving me a hard time, I don’t know what to do to please him.’ He responded

    ‘Babe, I think it is high time you let go of that job.’ I told him

    ‘Well I have been planning to talk to you about that.’ He answered

    ‘It is just the right thing to do, how long are you going to suffer under the mercy of that man. We have already seen enough.’ I told him when he lay his head on my laps

    There was a silence between us, we were both in our own world, I guess what happened to the vice president was hard on the both of us.

    ***

    ‘Yes sir.’

    ‘Kindly come to my office.’ I said before dropping the phone

    She walked in as soon as possible, she looked scared. I had instilled fear in almost everyone I worked with because Wane’s death had been hard to accept.

    ‘I have been calling Justin’s phones and they keep taking me straight to voice mail, I have not seen him in here. What the hell is happening around this place?’ I asked furiously

    ‘Sir I thought you read your mails.’ She responded
    ‘What do my mails have to do with his reporting for work?’ I asked pacing around my office

    ‘Mr Kunda resigned a week ago, I forwarded the emails.’ She told me

    I got my laptop and entered the password, it was flooding with mails and it looked like a trash can. I went to my mails and there it was.

    ‘I am sorry to inform you Sir that I can no longer work with your office, it has been a great pleasure serving both you and the Country. I wish you and your office happiness in your future endeavours. Mr Kunda.’

    I grabbed my laptop and threw it to the ground, causing it to crush.

    ‘Get out of my office!’ I ordered

    She rushed out and I was fuming, I grabbed my phone and punched the one number that I had dreaded.

    ‘Well, well. What do we have here?’ the voice said at the end of the line

    I kept quite not sure if I had made the right decision by dialling the number

    ‘I need your help.’ I said whilst panting

    ‘Of course you do, otherwise why would you be calling me?’ the voice asked

    ‘I need you to take two people down.’ I said

    ‘Who?’ he asked

    ‘Justin Kunda and Chimuka Hamoonga.’ I responded

    ‘You know how I do my work, I need to know why I am doing what I am doing.’ He said

    ‘I am just settling an old score.’ I responded

    ‘Don’t bullshit me, either you tell me or you can sort it out yourself.’ He said

    ‘The girl took out Wane.’ I responded

    ‘Wane? The late vice President?’ he asked

    ‘Yes.’ I answered

    The man let out an evil laugh

    ‘I thought she was the smartest woman in your office, what happened?’ he asked

    ‘I don’t have to explain myself to you.’ I said the laugh piercing through my heart

    He kept quite

    ‘Make it look like a murder case, burn them to ashes.’ I said

    ‘Wow, someone is becoming evil.’ He said

    ‘I don’t want anything to remain, but make sure to frame his wife; Felicia. I will send you everything you need.’ I said before hanging up the phone
    I watched as Felicia slept, I wish she could find the courage to tell me about her pregnancy. But I had promised myself that I wasn’t going to push her, her gynaecologist had called me the day she did her test to inform me about the pregnancy. I had never been so happy in my life.

    I was disturbed when I received a text from Chimuka asking me to meet her at Stay easy hotel room 04, she sounded like it was an urgent matter. I pecked Feli on the lips and locked up.
    I was out partying when I got a text from Justin asking me to meet him at stay easy hotel room 04, I had not heard from him since we buried the vice president and I guessed it was urgent. I got on the first cab I saw and asked the driver to take me to stay easy hotel, I was there in 10minutes because I had been at Lusaka hotel where my friend was holding a bachelorette party.

    I rushed to the room and found Justin inside pacing up and down with his hands in the pockets.

    ‘What is the problem?’ we both asked at the same time

    ‘Wait what are you talking about?’ I asked him
    He removed his phone and showed me the text, I also removed mine and showed him the text. We looked at each and I knew that we had fallen into the lion’s den.

    ‘Call your wife now.’ I ordered him

    He got his phone and it was not connecting.

    ‘Here try mine.’ I said handing him my phone

    He tried it and it also took him straight to voice mail.

    ‘We need to get out of here.’ I told him

    We were about to leave when the door opened.

    ‘Well look who we have here.’ The person said 

    FROM PROLOGUE
    ‘Mrs. Kunda, can you once again tell us your relationship to the deceased before judgment is passed’, her Lordship asked me.
    I looked at her with my blood shot eyes. I didn’t know what to say to her. I had exhausted all my energy and I didn’t have anything else to say. Either to the jury, the court or the Judge herself.
    ‘Mrs. Kunda, this is your last chance…any last words’, she asked again.
    I stood up from my seat, I could feel all the eyes crawling on me. I could feel the hate and hurt, the pain, the hunger to kill me was intense. Justin’s mum was also in the court room, she came to bid farewell to her son’s surviving widow and coming here today was the only way to avenge her son.
    ‘You can start by telling us your relationship to Mr. Kunda and Ms. Hamonga, both in question are deceased.’
     ‘Thank you Mrs. Kunda, court adjoined to Friday.’ The Judge announced.
     The guards led me to my cell and locked me up. In the three months I had been here, I had cried, prayed, talked to lawyers but all seemed in vain.
    Two days from now my fate would be decided, I loved Justin so much I would never hurt him and I know he would never cheat on me. What was killing me was how he got in that bed with Chimuka, I had so many questions and it seemed to me that he had died with all the answers.
    Justin’s parents had refused to bury his body until they saw to it that I was behind bars; two months of my husband’s body being in the morgue. Now here I am, alone in this cell and at this point am starting to believe that maybe I did kill him.
    When the world is totally against you, even your inner voice sounds like a liar. Maybe I did murder him, or maybe am just going insane.
    DECEPTION…LIES…DEATH
    What do you do when the man you trusted is the one that kills your trust?
    When the government you trust is the one that is rotten.
    Who really killed Justin?
    tbc

  • Deception Episode 19

    Deception Episode 19

    DECEPTION

    Deception Episode 19

    ‘The food was amazing babe.’ I told her as I scrubbed her back in the tub

    ‘He who finds a wife, finds a good thing.’ She responded

    ‘And obtains favour from the Lord.’ I finished off

    ‘Oh how I am blessed to have you.’ She said with honesty

    ‘I am blessed to have you Feli.’ I responded

    We finished taking our bath and went straight to bed, she lay in my arms the whole night and I just couldn’t help but stare each time I opened my eyes.

    ***

    I was woken up with voices coming from the living room.

    ‘God, can’t I have peace in my own house?’ I sighed looking at the ceiling

    ‘You witch better come out of there.’ I heard my mother in law scream

    I got out of bed and quickly grabbed a chitenge.

    ‘Good morning mum?’ I greeted

    ‘What is good about this morning?’ she asked

    I looked around the room and saw her things laying on the floor.

    ‘Good morning baby.’ I greeted Justin as I settled into a chair next to where he was standing

    ‘Good morning.’ He responded softly

    ‘So you will sit here and pretend like you don’t have a hand in this right?’ She asked

    I just looked at her without saying a word, I didn’t want to upset her more.

    ‘You have failed to bear my son a child and now you have turned him against me, Felicia you will not know peace as long as I am breathing. I will make sure that my son leaves you.’ She said

    ‘Chimuka get your bags.’ She ordered

    Chimuka just stood without saying a word or moving an inch

    ‘Chimuka, we don’t have the whole day.’ She screamed again

    ‘Mum I am sorry but I am staying back.’ She responded looking down

    ‘I don’t have time for games you fool, get your bags right now.’ She ordered

    ‘Leave the poor girl alone mum.’ Justin responded

    ‘What? Chimuka even you?’ she asked as tears rolled down her eyes

    I felt bad for her, Justin’s heart must have been heavy seeing his mother like that but there was nothing we could do. She had chosen her path and we just had to follow suite

    ‘This is not the last of me you are seeing, I will be back and I swear my come back will hurt all of you.’ She said as she carried her bags

    ‘Let me help you.’ Justin told her

    ‘Leave me alone Justin, you have turned against me because of this witch. Justin I carried you in my womb for nine months, turned you into the man that you have become and this is how you can repay me?’ she asked tears streaming down her face

    ‘Mother.’ He said

    ‘Don’t Justin, don’t.’ she said

    At that moment I just wanted the earth to swallow me, it’s like my poor husband was being asked to pick between his marriage and his mother. I hated what she was doing to us but I hated seeing them apart even more.

    I was brought back to earth with the slamming of the door. Justin sat down in defeat without saying a word. I moved to the chair he was sitted on and rested my head on his chest.

    ‘You are good people.’ Chimuka said breaking the silence

    ‘I wish you could convince my mother that we are.’ He responded

    ‘She will come around.’ I told him in a whisper

    Justin stood up and I was guessing it was to prepare himself for work, I remained in the living room and asked Chimuka to sit down because I needed to know things about her before finally hiring her.

    ‘So tell me the basic things about yourself.’ I told her

    ‘My names are Chimuka Hamoonga, I am 24 and I do not have a child neither have I been married before.’ She told me

    ‘Go on.’ I said scribbling down only the important things

    ‘I was born and bred in choma but after my grandmother passed on, I moved in with my aunty in kabwe and that is how I met Mrs Kunda.’ She said

    ‘Why would you come to Lusaka with such a mission, you are still young and vibrant. Chat MartinMartino on zero eight one eighty thirty fourteen twenty one to be added to his WhatsApp group.Why not making something better out of your life?’ I asked her

    ‘Well, not all that glitters is gold.’ She responded

    ‘Excuse me?’ I asked with a raised eye brow

    ‘Well my aunty is doing well for herself but I guess she always made it a point that I and her children were not equal. While they got everything on a silver plate I had to work for everything.’ She responded

    ‘You were like a maid in her home?’ I asked now curios

    ‘Not really, she had maids who did everything, I was only given the same amount of food as the maids, as for other necessities I had to work for them. I did all sorts of jobs for the residents in Kabwe and that is how I run into Mrs Kunda.’ She told me with sadness in her eyes

    I looked at her intently without saying a word for a few seconds.

    ‘I am sorry to hear that.’ I told her

    ‘Don’t be, I realized a long time ago that if I wanted to have good things I had to work for them.’ She told me

    ‘Your story doesn’t add up.’ I told her as I put my pen down

    ‘I don’t understand.’ She responded

    ‘I don’t know what you have been told about me but I am not the kind of person to take nonsense from anyone.’ I said

    ‘I don’t get you.’ She said looking up

    ‘Get out of my house!’ I said

    ‘What?’ she asked frightened

    ‘I said out! Now!’ I yelled again

    ‘How will I go?’ she asked surprised than frightened

    ‘You come into my house, try to ruin my marriage and have the audacity to lie to me?’ I asked her with fury

    ‘I am telling you the truth ma’am.’ She said

    Just then Justin walked in and gave me an envelope, I
    threw the contents at her and waited for her reaction.
    ‘Ma’am I can explain.’ She said her words failing her

    ‘I gave you a chance to explain yourself but what did you do? Insult my intelligence and lie in my face?’ I asked her as I got up

    ‘This is not the life I chose, I had other plans. It didn’t occur to me that I would end up here.’ She said

    ‘You had a chance to come clean with me but you chose to continue lying. Now leave my house.’ I said before walking off

    HMMM AM FEELING SORRY FOR JUSTIN’S MOM O

  • Deception Episode 7

    Deception Episode 7

    DECEPTION

    Deception Episode 7

    ‘Shii.’ He said as he held me close

    ‘Justin I have failed you.’ I said in between sobs

    ‘No babe you haven’t, we are not the only couple that do not have children.’ He told me with a lump on his throat

    ‘How long have we been married, Justin we are good to people. We are good people. We live right. But why should we suffer at the hands of nature?’ I asked him my voice breaking

    ‘Shii.’ He said patting my back

    I do not know how I slept but I was woken up with the smell of chamomile tea. I slowly opened my eyes and there stood Justin holding a tray with what looked like food.

    ‘Good morning babe.’ He greeted

    ‘Good morning.’ I responded blinking out

    ‘Breakfast in bed for the special lady.’ He said handing me the tray.

    ‘Thank you.’ I said as I sat up

    I drank the tea reluctantly and had a bit of the cornflakes that were also on the tray.

    ‘Thank you.’ I said handing him the tray

    ‘You are welcome.’ He said kissing my forehead

    ‘Now go and take a bath whilst I make the bed.’ He told me

    I was in no mood of talking so I just did as told and walked to the shower. I allowed the water to pour on my skin as hot tears streamed down my cheeks.

    ‘This is your home Felicia, the only person capable of bringing you down is yourself. As long as you still have your husband on your side you can take charge.’ My inner goddess screamed out

    I smiled as I wiped off the last drops with water.

    ‘This is my home.’ I said under my breath

    I walked out of the shower wearing absolutely nothing. Justin was on the phone when I got out, I saw how his jaw dropped when he looked at me.

    ‘Let me call you back.’ He said

    ‘Babe really?’ he asked

    ‘It’s my bedroom after all.’ I responded with a smirk on my face

    ‘Felicia we do not have time.’ he told me

    ‘I am almost done, hubby.’ I told him teasingly knowing what was on his mind

    He came closer to me and as he was about to hold my waist, I quickly moved away and grabbed my under wear and bra from the closet.

    ‘Babe really?’ he asked again

    ‘I thought you said we are running late.’ I asked him now fastening my dress

    ‘Have your way.’ He told me

    ‘Help me with the zip.’ I told him moving closer to where he was

    He zipped it up and just when I was about to move away he unzipped it again sending a cold chill to my spine

    ‘Babe.’ I told him my voice failing me

    He kissed my neck slowly, as if letting me know who I belonged to. He moved to my ear lobe then slowly kissed my shoulders. I was about to turn around when he zipped up my dress again. For a moment I was lost in passion and I knew he had really gotten back at me this time.

    I heard him laugh out when I couldn’t  move from my position.

    ‘Can we leave Mrs. Kunda?’ he asked mockingly

    I turned to look at him as if I were a child begging for candy.

    ‘Poor girl, your husband is starving you?’ he asked mockingly

    I couldn’t help but laugh, he came closer and we kissed then I quickly did my makeup and we walked out of the bedroom hand in hand.

    ‘Where do you think you are going on an empty stomach?’ my mother in law asked looking at Justin
    ‘Who said I am hungry?’ he asked her
    ‘I didn’t see you have your breakfast.’ She told him
    ‘Mum there are many ways in which a wife satisfies her husband.’ He told her pecking her cheek
    ‘Good morning mum.’ I greeted
    She just looked at me without saying a word
    ‘We will see you later.’ He told her
    We walked out and the pain was starting to build up again when he pulled me closer.
    ‘Hey, listen to me.’ He said lifting my chin
    ‘As long as we have each other nothing will come between us.’ He had continued
    I just nodded my head in acceptance
    ‘Babe?’ I told him
    ‘Yes love.’ He said
    ‘Can you drive me to work?’ I asked
    ‘Anything for my lady.’ He said as he opened the passenger seat
    We drove in silence until we got to my work place.
    ‘What do you think about the lady mum brought?’ I finally managed to ask
    ‘I do not want to talk about it babe, at least not now.’ He responded
    ‘But you know we cannot run away from it forever.’ I told him
    ‘I know.’ He responded
    ‘You have a good day.’ He said kissing my hand
    ‘You too.’ I said as I walked out of the vehicle
    I looked at the work environment feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders
    ‘Your excellency?’
    ‘The Mafinga MP is exporting goods out of the country without our knowledge.’
    ‘That’s news.’
    ‘I want you to look him up and make sure this case doesn’t go public but make sure to put a stop to it.’

    ‘What if the source is not telling the truth?’

    ‘Why would he lie to me; the head of state?’

    ‘Maybe for favors or something.’

    ‘That is where you come in Justin, find out all you can about the MP. You have forty two hours.’
    To BE CONTINUED…

  • Deception Episode 2

    Deception Episode 2

    DECEPTION

    Deception Episode 2

    I loved Justin with everything in me but I knew better than to allow him or his family to trample over me, I was the kind of woman that offered tough love. I offered my emotions on a hot spindle and whoever wanted to be part of my life had to take the risk of getting burned, I never removed any jewelry from my crown to make it easy for anyone to carry it; whoever wanted to be in my life had to man up and meet my standards.

    ‘So what are you telling me really?’ I asked after much silence

    ‘Feli I do not have a problem, have you ever been preg…’

    I didn’t even allow him to finish his sentence.

    ‘Justin honestly, you wake me in the middle of the night to accuse me of being barren?’ I asked in shock

    ‘Feli do not get me wrong, I am not calling you barren. I am just saying that I do not have a problem.’ He told me trying to sound reasonable

    ‘Well my dear husband, maybe if I was married to a different man we would be telling a different story right now.’ I said switching off the head lamp

    I heard him sigh then later his head lamp went off too. Justin was the best thing that happened to me but that didn’t give him the right to question nature, I had heard stories of how marriages ended because of such cases and trust me I had drawn that line the minute I said I do. My marriage was never going to go through the courts of law, I would never lose my man to another woman, we were going to have battles yes but not anything that would tear us apart.

    I said a silent prayer before closing my eyes.

    I woke up very early to do the chores because I refused to hire a maid, I cleaned the house and prepared breakfast whilst Justin went to take a bath. I cleaned the bedroom then later took a bath and I joined him for breakfast.

    ‘Good morning.’ He said when I settled into my chair

    ‘Good morning.’ I greeted back

    ‘About last night…’ he began

    ‘I am all ears.’ I told him

    ‘You know I love you, right?’ he asked

    ‘Love is not the issue here, just get to the main point.’ I told him as I sipped on my tea

    ‘Can’t you for once just let down your high horse and at least reason with me like an adult?’ he asked in a calm voice

    I put my mug cup down, in situations like these I remembered my mother’s words, and may her soul rest in peace.

    ‘Feli never raise your voice at your husband, no matter what humble yourself.’ She would say

    I looked at him before responding as if calculating my words when in actual sense I was just dealing with my anger.

    ‘Babe, you wake me up in the middle of the night; tell me about a woman you impregnated back in school and accuse me of being barren then you talk to me about love?’ I asked making sure to sound numb

    ‘Sweetheart you know I did not call you barren.’ He told me

    ‘You didn’t have to spell it out, I read between your words.’ I told him picking up the mug cup with green tea.

    ‘Felicia I am not your enemy and I will never be one, we have come too far to allow such petty issues to come between us.’ He told me

    ‘It’s not petty if it’s causing you and your mother to be on each other’s throats.’ I told him holding his hand

    ‘I do not know what to do any more, do we really need a child?’ he asked me with a smile

    I couldn’t respond, he knew just how to penetrate through me.

    ‘We have been happy, we can just leave the country and start all over elsewhere.’ He told me

    ‘And your family name?’ I asked

    ‘That baby making machine Priscilla can take over.’ He told me

    I couldn’t help but laugh.

    Justin’s mother had trouble conceiving, she only got pregnant six years after getting married and when she finally did it was hard to keep the pregnancy. She was in and out of hospital and the doctors had said that one of them wouldn’t make it if a forced abortion wasn’t done, but she wanted the baby so much and when he finally came she dedicated the rest of her life to him in the process abandoning her husband.

    He came back home one evening with a tiny baby in his hands, she did not ask questions but took in the child as her own but little Priscilla grew up to be the opposite of the entire family. She had made headlines at an early age and had given birth to two kids at the age of twenty two both with different fathers. 

    ‘Priscilla is not that bad.’ I told him as I cleared the table

    ‘I grew up with her, I know her like the palm of my hand.’ He told me spanking my bum

    ‘Babe.’ I screamed out turning to face him

    ‘Feli child or no child; what I feel for you is beyond me. I could never stop loving you even if I chose to.’ He told me kissing my forehead

    ‘I love you husband of my youth.’ I told him

    ‘We kissed for a while before locking up and getting into our separate cars.

    My husband was a consultant under Ministry of Lands and I was an executive officer for the office of the vice president, our lives were perfect but the issue of the baby was slowly getting to me.

    I drove into my parking space and dialed Justin’s number, he picked up on the first ring.

    ‘Wify,’

    ‘Hubby,’

    ‘Miss me already?’

    ‘You have some lipstick on your lips.’

    ‘Wait, is that why that deal has failed, they must think I am a womanizer.’

    ‘Babe I am so sorry.’

    ‘Got you, I always move with my handkerchief courtesy of my lady.’

    I couldn’t help but smile, God was I blessed.

    ‘Have a beautiful day.’ He told me

    ‘Even better knowing I have you.’ I said before walking out of my car

    I wasn’t ready for this, how would I tell my husband that I was planning on resigning because my supervisor saw nothing but prey when he looked at me.
    tbc

  • Deception -Prologue

    Deception -Prologue

    DECEPTION

    Deception -Prologue

    ‘Mrs. Kunda, can you once again tell us your relationship to the deceased before judgment is passed’, her Lordship asked me.
    I looked at her with my blood shot eyes. I didn’t know what to say to her. I had exhausted all my energy and I didn’t have anything else to say. Either to the jury, the court or the Judge herself.
    ‘Mrs. Kunda, this is your last chance…any last words’, she asked again.
    I stood up from my seat, I could feel all the eyes crawling on me. I could feel the hate and hurt, the pain, the hunger to kill me was intense. Justin’s mum was also in the court room, she came to bid farewell to her son’s surviving widow and coming here today was the only way to avenge her son.
    ‘You can start by telling us your relationship to Mr. Kunda and Ms. Hamonga, both in question are deceased.’
    ‘uhmmmmmmmmmmmm’,  Was the response from the court room.
    ‘Quite!! Quite now’. The Judge ordered the court
    I wiped a tear from my cheeks before I spoke up.
    ‘My names are Felicia Mwamba Kunda, widow to Justin Kunda who was found dead with…’ I kept quite before continuing, tears streaming down my face.
    ‘Murderer, you Murderer. You were not woman enough to bear my son a child, to make matters worse you killed him and the only hope he had of having an heir.’ My mother in law, Justine’s mother bitterly cried.
    ‘I said order in the court, Madam Kunda if you do not keep quite at once I will be forced to throw you out of my courtroom.’ The judge barked
    ‘I dare you to do so Ma’am, if you were in my shoes you would have sentenced her to hanging already.’
    ‘Mayo ikaleni naimwe (Mum sit down)’, Justin’s half-sister Priscilla cried out to her mother who was now up facing the Judge.  
    ‘Are you threatening me or the accused’, the judge asked.
    They was silence in the room…
    ‘I thought so, Mrs. Kunda you can continue.’  
    ‘My names are Felicia Mwamba Kunda, I and the deceased; Justin Kunda met five years ago and were married for three years. The lady he was found in bed with Chimuka Hamonga; at the time of his death, was a maid I had fired two months ago.’
    ‘Thank you Mrs. Kunda, court adjoined to Friday.’ The Judge announced.
     The guards led me to my cell and locked me up. In the three months I had been here, I had cried, prayed, talked to lawyers but all seemed in vain. Two days from now my fate would be decided, I loved Justin so much I would never hurt him and I know he would never cheat on me. What was killing me was how he got in that bed with Chimuka, I had so many questions and it seemed to me that he had died with all the answers.
    Justin’s parents had refused to bury his body until they saw to it that I was behind bars; two months of my husband’s body being in the morgue. Now here I am, alone in this cell and at this point am starting to believe that maybe I did kill him.
    When the world is totally against you, even your inner voice sounds like a liar. Maybe I did murder him, or maybe am just going insane.