Category: JOKES

Mhizta Emy

1.Real name… Emmanuel


2.Nick name: Mhizta Emy


3.Sex: Male


4.Nationality:USA


5.Hobbies:Collecting teeth from live crocodiles and catching
bullets with my bare hands…Swallowing blades and nails


6.My records:Fought with a lion and broke it’s neck, skinned
a crocodile alive and held my breath underwater for 2
months, 3 weeks, 6 hours. 5 minutes and 56 seconds.


7.Greatest achievement : went to heaven to charge my
phone and the first man to land on the sun and stayed there
for 6 months


8.Silliest thing I’ve ever done.:Swimming in a tsunami and
driving towards a volcano.


9.Embarrassing moment : Couldn’t kill 100 lions with one
punch but at least 99 died and now the remaining one is a
cripple


10. Proudest moment : A cobra died after biting me


11.Hardest moment : Jumped from an aeroplane and
landed safely on a cricket pitch.


12.Something about me :I don’t like lying…i hate liars…they
make me sick.. ?

Drop your comment

Mhizta Emy

1. Ask your girlfriend to visit you, she will say
she doesn’t have money for transport. But
let someone tell her that you are with
another girl in your room. She can even hire
a private jet.


2. You guys that are busy telling girls you
met on Facebook that you are missing them,
please what exactly are you missing?
Her handwriting or her photogenic voice?


3. Seek ye money first and every other girl
shall be added unto you.
Sense Chapter 1Vs2.


4. If your mum never threw slippers or
broom at you, just know you lack home
training.


5. Ask for my account number, my shoe size
or cloth size, not “How are you?”, Everytime
I’m not fine. I need money!


6. Some girls ehnn
Me: Tell me about yourself
Girl: I’m a human being, I’m a female, I have
two legs, two hands and two eyes, I wear
clothes and I can walk, I can eat food too.
Can you just imagine?
Na God go punish her for me


[Read Romance story ADANNA 18+]


7. There is a place called “Staff room” I don’t
like visiting during high school days, all the
witches and wizards are there.


8. I want to date a very respectful girl that
she will even wash her hands before liking
my posts.


9. I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time and I
Think he mistook me for Jesus…
He was like, ‘ Jesus Christ..is this you?’


10. Could you believe that i went to NEPA office yesterday to pay my ELECTRICITY BILL.. As I was there, They took light and one of the staff there shouted “THUNDER FIRE NEPA”


11. Nigerian is a confused place.
Even the weather in Nigeria is confused.
3:30pm the sun is very hot, 3:31pm its
raining, 3:32pm, the sun is shining again..
Can you imagine?


[ Read COLLECTION JOKES EPISODE 1]


12. Some imo boys are now using their s**** to
starch their clothes.
I would have say something now but its
none of my business.


13. My ex is doing everything to make me
jealous. She even hug trees these days.


14. Nigerian girls are really poor in romance.
You will hit her with a pillow, BOOM! She’s
chasing you with a knife.


15. Am tired of Nigerian pigin English.
Which one b toilet dey hungry me.
 Nigerian self


16. My first male child must be a female, I don’t like those male child especially the female ones.


17. Not all girls are looking for love in a relationship. Some are just looking for food & data bundles.
This my mouth will put me into trouble ooooo yooooo.


18. Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:


 ‘can kids of our age have kids?’ 
Teacher replied ‘NO Never!!’


Boy said to girl :
 ‘see i told you not to worry!!!!’.


[ Read Romance story MY WOMAN]


19. I knew the economic state was worse when I heard someone pricing NEPA BILL…
He was like “Bros,abeg how much for low current” Nawa ooo 


20. SEX IS POWERFUL. As I was walking with my friend a girl sent him a message that said, “Can u come over tonight to have sex?”. The guy typed, “Yes” and as he was about to press send, a thief snatched his phone and ran away… As we were chasing the thief, my friend was busy screaming, “Iwe Chikala press send”




Kindly Drop your comment for next Episode

Mhizta Emy

1. Ask your girlfriend to visit you, she will say
she doesn’t have money for transport. But
let someone tell her that you are with
another girl in your room. She can even hire
a private jet.


2. You guys that are busy telling girls you
met on Facebook that you are missing them,
please what exactly are you missing?
Her handwriting or her photogenic voice?


3. Seek ye money first and every other girl
shall be added unto you.
Sense Chapter 1Vs2.


4. If your mum never threw slippers or
broom at you, just know you lack home
training.


5. Ask for my account number, my shoe size
or cloth size, not “How are you?”, Everytime
I’m not fine. I need money!


6. Some girls ehnn
Me: Tell me about yourself
Girl: I’m a human being, I’m a female, I have
two legs, two hands and two eyes, I wear
clothes and I can walk, I can eat food too.
Can you just imagine?
Na God go punish her for me


[Read Romance story ADANNA 18+]


7. There is a place called “Staff room” I don’t
like visiting during high school days, all the
witches and wizards are there.


8. I want to date a very respectful girl that
she will even wash her hands before liking
my posts.


9. I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time and I
Think he mistook me for Jesus…
He was like, ‘ Jesus Christ..is this you?’


10. Could you believe that i went to NEPA office yesterday to pay my ELECTRICITY BILL.. As I was there, They took light and one of the staff there shouted “THUNDER FIRE NEPA”


11. Nigerian is a confused place.
Even the weather in Nigeria is confused.
3:30pm the sun is very hot, 3:31pm its
raining, 3:32pm, the sun is shining again..
Can you imagine?


[ Read COLLECTION JOKES EPISODE 1]


12. Some imo boys are now using their s**** to
starch their clothes.
I would have say something now but its
none of my business.


13. My ex is doing everything to make me
jealous. She even hug trees these days.


14. Nigerian girls are really poor in romance.
You will hit her with a pillow, BOOM! She’s
chasing you with a knife.


15. Am tired of Nigerian pigin English.
Which one b toilet dey hungry me.
 Nigerian self


16. My first male child must be a female, I don’t like those male child especially the female ones.


17. Not all girls are looking for love in a relationship. Some are just looking for food & data bundles.
This my mouth will put me into trouble ooooo yooooo.


18. Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:


 ‘can kids of our age have kids?’ 
Teacher replied ‘NO Never!!’


Boy said to girl :
 ‘see i told you not to worry!!!!’.


[ Read Romance story MY WOMAN]


19. I knew the economic state was worse when I heard someone pricing NEPA BILL…
He was like “Bros,abeg how much for low current” Nawa ooo 


20. SEX IS POWERFUL. As I was walking with my friend a girl sent him a message that said, “Can u come over tonight to have sex?”. The guy typed, “Yes” and as he was about to press send, a thief snatched his phone and ran away… As we were chasing the thief, my friend was busy screaming, “Iwe Chikala press send”




Kindly Drop your comment for next Episode

BREAKING_NEWS
What is this Country turning into..can’t believe this is happening…………
They are now in Abuja oooo! This happened in Ile Ife this evening. A lady called a shoe maker to help fix her slippers.
She allowed him stay in their compound, while she went back inside to continue with what she was doing.
When he was fixing her slippers, he added
something under before stitching it back. Luckily for the Lady, her landlord was at the balcony watching the Shoemaker without his knowledge. When he was through, he called her to tell her that he has finished. She came out, he told her to try it on her leg to make sure it was OK.
Her landlord shouted from upstairs ‘no oh,
don’t put your leg in that slippers I’m coming. He came downstairs; forced the shoemaker to put his leg in the slippers, the shoemaker refused. Then he alerted neighbours. So, they all gathered, forced him to wear the slippers.
Immediately he put his leg in the slippers, Guess what happened??
Hmmmmmmmm !!!!!.
The slippers cut… He did not sew it well…
Thank you for your time