Category: TAMAR

TAMAR

Tamar-Episode 25

©Amah’s Heart

I sneezed out loud and screamed Jesus before opening my eyes, at first everywhere was so blurred, I blinked repeatedly as I try to see clearly and to know where exactly I was, I almost thought I was dead because of my encounter with him, he has being on my side for a while and has helped me to remain calm, he kept saying this to me as if he was trying to keep it fresh in my heart
“I am here with you, now and forever, nothing and no one can snatch you away from my hands because you are strongly secured, for you did not deny me before men I will not deny you before my father in heaven, I am here with you my child, always. is time to return, go and make disciples of all nation…your work is not done yet…remember, I am with you always…always my child.
“it was Jesus, oh Jesus… it was him, his face has shone so bright that I have to shade the brightness with my hands to see him, he has being beside me all this while and his presence has being so warm and loving, that I have wished I will remain there with him.
“Father, come…quick, father hurry, she has awaken…
I watch as a man try to check me through, my body was stiff, my face felt like it was sewed together, my hand and thigh felt the same, I was finding it hard to move my hands and my legs, couldn’t feel some part of my body, must part of my body feels numb, it was as if they are not mine anymore, my eyes was wide open as I stare at the strange faces bent over me…
“Where…where I am…where is this place…
“I am a physician and here is my son, he is practicing to be a renowned physician just like me, you are in my place, my name is Cozam and my son is Tedran. You have being in a comma for long, counting by the weeks it will be nine and half weeks, that’s almost three months in coma, you were sent to mandioh’s lion’s den.. Do you remember, but you were lucky to have made it alive, whatever god you serve must have defended you and helped you through, it surprising how you are still alive but we are happy you made it. You serve a true God, because even I, being a physician can’t explain the logic, You are very safe here, because we live at the far end of the fourth district, they all thought you are already dead, many people died that day, there was a young man that got enraged on hearing that you were sent to Mandion’s den to die, on getting there he pushed down one woman that has planned it all with Mandioh, Mandioh was eaten by his own lion, the crazy young man was called Vim, he is the son of the second prime ruler, people fear him greatly, I have to tell him that you are already dead because you look lifeless, and your wounds were life threatening, we thought you will never make it, we came to buy some medical things for our patients over here and when we hard that Mandioh’s has opened up his lion’s den and people were tripping in to watch, it was a good time, and I, having being trying to teach my son somethings in a dead human body, so we watch from afar as the lions couldn’t take a bite off you, it was as if your body was poisonous to them and that of your second too, all they did was to just dug their long fangs into you and left you, you lost so much blood already before lord Vim asked if there was any physician around and I came out with my son, so when you were brought up we thought it was useless working on you because you were not moving again and so we told him you were gone, we told him that you are dead and that news enraged him the more and he began to shoot, even the lions have their own share of the gun shot, I guess they all died later, we have to get an order to go and dispose you and the second lady at the burial ground but you suddenly called out somebody’s name along the way, inside the chariot and that was how we got to know that you are alive, and since we brought you down here you have being unconscious, you have being in coma, I’m glad you are up, so you must have noticed how stiff your body is, well, is due to being in one place without movement for so long, now we have to help you move your body, you have stiches all over your thigh, your face and also some other part of your body which is not totally healed, we have to loosened the thread maybe tomorrow so that you will be able to move around gently until you can feel your legs and your whole body began to corporate, it will take little time, and you will make use of a walking stick but with a constant practice you will be fine.
“wher…what of Shamara…what happened to her…I mean my second..
“she is right there, still not awake, but she will live, if you can gently turn your face to your right side you will see her, her wounds were not as much as yours, you sustained a heavy injury, she lost lots of blood and she is very weak, unlike you, your muscles are strong and you respond well to treatment, you look fragile yet you are very strong, my lady, I’m glad you made it but this has to be between us, because already everyone thinks you are dead and that young man has already believed so, it will be safe for you to stay here and secondly the wound on your cheek will take time to heal up, and when it finally healed you will be left with a deep scar on your face, your thigh and also your arm will have a scar, which is not even important, the most important thing is that you are alive and you will live here with us, we will teach you medicine and you may eventually become a physician too if you so desired so. We have enough rooms for you and your second.
I started practicing again on how to move my legs and arm and my whole body as the weeks follows suit, I was afraid to look at the mirror because of the deep wound on my cheek, that was gradually forming a scar already, within weeks, I can stand and move around with the help of Tedran and a walking stick, the physician son Tedran, who was almost same age with Vim, he was gentle and kind as he assist me in getting better everyday,
Tedran was a fine young man, younger than Vim, I guess, he was good looking too and was also taller than his father, he was always filled with smile, and I have to ask him one day as he massage my limp legs after being instructed by his father to do so.
“You are always wearing a smile, that’s good…I admire that about you, did your father also told you is part of your job description… being a physician…
“hahahaha, smiling has become part of me, and yes, father told me to always smile especially when I’m attending to patients, it helps them to ease up. So ever since I was young, father has inbuilt it in me, he has being building me up to become as good as he is and I tried not to fail him, I was little when mother died and father has never remarried since then, he raised me up and it has being two of us ever since…and very soon I will be like father, already I know everything but I don’t want to be ahead of myself, I always want to watch father attend to patients and I only do the ones he instruct me to do, he sometimes he send me out to go and attend to patients on my own and I try not to disappoint him… someday I will get a wife and it will not just be me and father anymore, and when children start coming the house will be lively like I have always wanted that, I like having people around here.
I listened to Tedran talk and I tried to smile despite the wound stiches that hurts anytime I forcefully move a muscle on my face.
Shamara woke up after a week, and I was at her bedside with lord Cozam and his son Tedran, they began to attend to her, as Shamara try to understand what was happening around her and where she was, I held her hand as she turned to look at me
“Where…is this place, is this heaven…are we dead, is this heaven or hell…
“we are both alive, we made it Shamara, God saved us, this is planet earth, is neither heaven or hell, and if there’s anywhere we have to be outside this earth then is heaven and not hell, I’m so proud of you..
“oh…serious, so we are alive, I thought…I thought the lion ate us, oh mine…the lions….i remember… your God is real, you said he was going to come and save us and he did… look at the wound on your face, it must have being so painful, I’m deeply sorry, I can’t even remember what happened after… after you asked me to pretend to be dead and I did, I guess I passed out…who are all this people…
“Our God is real, he has never failed and he will never fail, we both lost so much blood, and the shock too kept us in coma, is a good thing to have you here, this is lord Cozam and his son Tedran, they are both physicians, they saved us… and nursed us back, without a shelling to their pocket, they are good people and I’m glad God used them for us…
Shamara muttered a thank you to lord Cozam and his son Tedran and they greeted her with a smile.
The week came and go as we try to heal up, it became so fun being with the physicians, as I try to tell them about Christ, and they were keen to listen after seeing what happened at the lion’s den and being alive again which was beyond their understanding, they listened, him and his son and they eventually believed, as I feed them with the word everyday, Shamara was not left out.
We assisted with the little that we can do around the house, more week’s turns into months and then it became a year. We were totally fine. I can walk perfectly well on my own without any help, same with Shamara, although the scars are all there but it gives me no trouble.
I planned to return to visit lord Reese’s family, there were a lot of people to visit, Abel, my dearest Abel, Adolfo and Eura, Zity and Chakan, they should have their little one by now, Rhonda and her children, the merchant, and how he took the news of his wife’s death, then Vim, I wonder how he is doing after all that happened.
It was time for me to visit them all, I will go as a physician with Tedran, and will wear a cover up, from head down, only my eyes will be seen, I will not reveal my identity to them immediately until I observe the environment, and I plead with God to lead me as always.
I won’t be going as Tamar, I will let them believe me to be a stranger or a physician’s daughter, i will change my name to Leah.
i’m going over with a different identity and a different name.
tbc

TAMAR

Tamar-Episode 19

©Amah’s Heart

When I walked up to him he was just looking at me angrily but I remain calm despite the tumbling in my heart, I bent my head and greeted him warmly
“My kind greetings to you my lord…
“Your lord?…you make me laugh, so you are back to calling me your lord after I asked you not to, are you done doing hide and seek for me, you were avoiding me as if I’m struck with a plague, like I have a disease, are you tired of running, you left the house then without even a good bye, and has find away to keep far from me, is it because I made my feelings known to you… was that a crime, no, tell me is it a crime before your so called god, because I don’t understand…talk to me, I have tried everything possible to stop thinking about you, to keep you away from my mind, I have tried and yet it didn’t work, I feel so stupid when I do this, because you do not understand, you don’t understand Tamar, I’m going crazy thinking of you everyday….is being months since you left and I still can’t get you off my mind, no matter what I do, I’m…I’m going crazy…hmm, so where did my sister went to, I thought you are suppose to be beside her always and not going to a man’s house, only the gods knows where you went to, and where’s Zity’s husband, why do the house look so deserted, where are you coming from Tamar? a tall beautiful maiden here, she said her name is Shamara, she told me that no one is home and when I asked of you she said you have probably gone to meet your man, your secret lover… well I don’t know what to make out of that…you having a lover… is no more Abel. hmmm, I know is not true…so where are you coming from…
I started feeling bad as he mentioned Shamara and her appearance, I felt this hurt feeling to my chest, I swallowed hard again and kept quiet…he dragged me with force into the house where no one will see us and locked the door behind, my other hand was held to where the money is, he started boiling in anger as he pushed me inside, and faced me again.
“so is true, you went to see your man friend, who is the person…tell me who is the man you are seeing that is better than me, who Tamar, you chose another over me and threw my love back to my face, what I’m I suppose to do now…with this heavy feeling in my heart, what do you want me to do now, because I have tried to make it stop but I can’t…you chose another over me, if it was Abel I wouldn’t have being so worried but is not even Abel it must be some stupid man out there, you prefer him to me, did he lay with you, did you two got entangled, I swear by the gods I will break the man’s jaw if he lays a finger at you, did you lay with him , do you love him, ooh! you love him and that’s why you have being avoiding me, making me look stupid before my own eyes, what am I suppose to do now, with all this crazy feeling in my heart for you, you don’t love me, you hate me, you hate me for what I did to you years ago at the fountain, or because I revealed my feeling and kissed you back in my chamber, I just want to know what could make you not to want me like I want you, you are driving me crazy can’t you see that, do you love me, who is the man you are seeing.…answer me,
He swore under his breath again, my mouth was dried of spit as I kept swallowing hard, my hand was sweating and I started shaking inside, he was so angry and was becoming violent, he combed his hand into his hair and came close to me, he shakes me violently and I began to scream and the money that I was trying to hide fell off, he suddenly left me as he saw the leather bag fell from under my dress, he picked it up and opened it, and gaps as he saw the money inside… he swore again before looking at me, I saw only fire of jealousy and anger all over him..
“Where did you get all this money from, your man lover gave you all this, hmmm…why are you not saying anything, has the gods tired up your tongue, was it because of the money you are with him, so you went to him because the money, why didn’t you come to me, I would have given you much more than what he gave you, I would have, if you have asked me Tamar, what is my offense, why don’t you want me, I want you so much, answer me, why are you so silent, oh the gods! your silent is killing me Tamar, how do you get the money, who is your lover, who gave you all this money
“Is Adolfo, he gave it to me…
“whaaat…who…Adolfo…why…oh the gods…Adolfo…why did he gave you so much money, I don’t want to think about it…hope is not what I’m thinking, is Adolfo…your..i mean that’s not possible, I’m going crazy, I suspected you two when Zity was still his wife, the way you are always around him and he always seem like you are everything to him, I confronted you and you said you have nothing with him so you have being having affair with him even when he was married to my sister, so he is the lover all this while, I knew it, I know his closeness with you is not ordinary, he has being laying with you even back when he was still married to Zity… why..i mean. I’m really going crazy right now…Adolfo is your lover?
“He is not, I don’t have a lover, I only visited them today, just to check up, and Adolfo willingly gave me all this money, out of his own kind heart. We got nothing together…I’m saying the truth, I can’t lie to you, my lord…
“Stop calling me that, call me Vim, say it now…call me Vim, see the way you call him Adolfo, making him sound special, call me same way, call me by my name. I believe you when you say that you got nothing with him, but at same time I wonder why you will be avoiding me…I want you Tamar, I love you…I love you so much that it makes my heart bleed, I love you with all my heart and with my whole being, …please marry me…I want you to be mine…
My heart melt at his site, he looked beaten, as he pleads, i have never seen a man so powerful and yet so beaten, my heart was almost pumping out to my mouth as I watch him, I don’t know if I should cry or scream to make him understand why it can’t work between us, but at that moment all I can think of is the handsome man standing before me, pleading seriously for me to be his, he came closer to me and my legs began to shake and I couldn’t even move again, he came so close that I can smell him, he smells of sweat, he gently draw me to himself and held me in his arm for sometime, I was feeling his heart beat as it mix with mine, the both heart beats like a drum to my ears, I didn’t want to leave his arm as he held me so close to himself, he gently bent over and kissed me, I didn’t resist as he kissed me again and I allowed him kissed me so deeply, we lock lips and drank deeply of each other, emotion was running wild, I couldn’t get him to stop and yet I don’t want him to stop, he lifted me to the long cushion by the corner and the kissing continued as he lay me gently, he kissed my neck and down to my heart, he ripped my dress off my shoulder and I screamed in shock as I realized what was about to happen, I held my cloth together as reality hits me, he sat up shaking and swore again under his breath, he stood and moved closer and I moved backward…
“Hmm…Tamar, i..nothing happened, don’t be scared, I wanted you as you wanted me but you pull off and…and…hmmm…I’m sorry, I’m sorry Tamar, I couldn’t keep my emotion in check, I’m sorry for ripping your dress, I will get you another, you love me don’t you…you do love me, yet you won’t admit it…please marry me, just say yes, you can worship any god of your choice and I swear I will never stop you, I will always protect you, I worship whatever I chose to worship, money, Jupiter or any god I so desire, and you will worship the god of the Christians like you have always wanted…just say yes, and I will speak to Zity and she will free you, we will start our wedding ceremony, and become husband and wife, we will have children, lovely children, who you will bring up, and I will love you with all my heart, it will be a loving family, just say yes…marry me Tamar… please do not cry, don’t do this to me…I’m sorry…I want you to be mine and mine alone…marry me I beg you in the name of your god whom you serve…
“Vim, I can’t, I…we almost went down in sin…allowing the flesh to take over us…yes, i…I don’t know what I feel for you or the feeling you brings to my heart…you confuse me…you are becoming my weakness…
“then marry me so that I won’t become your weakness again, so that when we finally lay it won’t seem like a sin any more but as husband and wife…I know you are a virgin but I do not care about that, even if you have slept with all the men of this kingdom it won’t make any difference to me all I want is you, I want to make you my own, and I want you to take me as yours, please I beg you in the name of your god to marry me…I can speak to mother and father, I will speak to Zity, she will free you, we will become united as husband and wife, don’t you want that…don’t you want me…I can’t hold back this feeling any more…marry me Tamar…I beg of you…
I gently picked up the money Adolfo gave me from the floor and quietly went to the door that was locked, he try to come close to me but suddenly stopped when I looked at him fiercely, he stood, looking at me, as I unlocked the door and walked out, I held my torn dress together from falling off my shoulder, I stood outside, try to replay what just happened in my mind, I move close to the flower cot and sat down on the floor instead of the chair, I sat there, trying to clear my head, I almost allowed myself to fall into sin, I thought of a word in psalm, that said “how can I know the sins lurking in my heart oh Lord, please forgive me from my hidden fault..
“Please Lord thoroughly wash me from my iniquities, and cleanse me from my sin, for my sins are always before you, you alone have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, behold in iniquity I was brought forth and in sin did my mother conceived me, you will be prove right in what you say and your judgement towards me is fair, for you delight truth in my inward being you will teach me wisdom even in my inner heart…help me overcome my weakness, I can not do this alone Lord, give me the strength like you gave to Abel, Vim has become my weakness Lord, it seem right in the eyes of the world to marry him and still serve you, but I know ones I’m married to him he may draw me away from you, I maybe too weak to draw him to you and because he is stronger than I he will eventually win, in as much as I want him, yes, I do lord, I love Vim but I don’t want to be blown out of the flesh, I don’t want to go off your will, Abel said there’s a lot more ahead of me than I can see, could it be this or is there still more to come, design my thought, help me to stand firm in you…help me Lord…please…help me…
I cried out to God right there at the flower cot,
And when Zity came back I went in and change over, after sometime Vim left, after speaking with his sister for sometime, I don’t know what they talked about but Zity was looking at me and smiling cheerfully when I came to attend to her, she asked me if I have being crying and I told her I was fine, she told me that I shouldn’t worry very soon everything will be alright because her brother seem to be interested in me, I didn’t say a word as I went about my duty
The following day Zity went out, and I was at the flower cot, Chakan was inside his chamber, I did not see Shamara, but I was at the flower cot, meditating on psalms, after sometime Zity came back but not with her chariot, I was surprise because that was unlike her, she looks weak, and when I asked her if she was alright she said she is having headache so I gently took her inside, and she said she wanted to go to the husband’s chamber, I should just make a hot a soup for her to take,
When she got to the husband’s chamber she didn’t bother knocking, as she forcefully opened the husband’s chamber and right there was Shamara with the husband on his bed,
Chakan did not know that Zity was home, everybody knows that she always return in the evening but today she was back way too early than usual, and did not drive in with her chariot which always make a loud noise showing she is back, she just came in and went straight to Chakan’s chamber and there he was entangled with Shamara,
I did not even notice when Shamara went to Chakan’s chamber I would have try to stop her, but it was too late as Zity stood there in shock, Shamara quickly stood up and picked up her dress and ran off, she was shaking all over, she was afraid,
Zity’s leg began to shake as she suddenly fainted in my arm, Chakan rushed to his wife, and lifted her to his arm, he carried her to her chamber and lay her as I quickly brought cold water and sprayed her, and soaked a towel inside cold water which I placed on her head, she woke up,
Chakan drove off with his chariot to get a physician for her,
I wonder if Zity will ever recover from the shock of seeing her husband with another woman,
What will happen now, I warned Shamara but she never listened, and Chakan, how will he make amend to his wife,
I thought of Vim again, what is he going to say about all this, what I’m I suppose to say to him if he comes back again after Zity and his parents has agreed and gave him a go ahead for him to marry me, what will I do or say, what will Abel say about all the things happening.
Everything was happening so fast yet my confidence is strongly built in God, I know Abel is not here to tell me what to do, I rely on God to direct me and I know what he will want me to do and that is what I will do.

TAMAR

Tamar-Episode 17

©Amah’s Heart

Everything was going well in Chakan’s house, he has a big house too, but his Father’s house was bigger, he also has a flower court, where I usually sit out,
Today Zity went out with Okra, she hardly stays back home this days, always attending one party or the other with Okra, I have heard she and Chakan quarrying over her constant outing and I heard her telling him
“Every day is one outing or the other, can’t you sit at home, okra is taking you to all the whole party in this kingdom, I don’t feel comfortable with this your new picked habit, I don’t Zity, you are a pregnant woman, you are suppose to sit at home not partying all the time, you didn’t go partying in my father’s house, now you feel so free to do as you please…
“So because I got married to you I can’t go out again, Okra invited me to Mecano’s party, he is celebrating his gladiator fest, he invited okra and she asked me to go with her, my pregnancy is not yet obvious, nobody knows yet I’m pregnant, even if they finds out I have nothing to be ashamed off, I wasn’t free with your father or even comfortable to go out, or maybe I was still acting childish but not again, I’m wise, and this is the life I have always wanted, I want to experience things, and live my life to the fullest, and sitting at home with you can also be boring, do not try to cage me because I’m married to you, Okra is also married yet her husband doesn’t cage her, she is free to do as she likes and here you are complaining, acting like a child, please let me be, I’m living my life, I’m not the only pregnant married woman in this kingdom… Live your life let me live mine
I was always asked to stay back anytime she goes with okra to her numerous party, Chakan was home in his chamber that day, I sat at the flower court, it was deep evening, night was fast approaching, Zity was not back, she sometimes comes back late with Okra’s chariot men, who brings her home
I sat there as I pray for God’s protection over her, I also pray that God will give me wisdom at all time to know what to do,
I thought of Adolfo, I wondered how he is coping with life, Eura was still serving in his house, if I’m free tomorrow I Will go and check them and know how they are doing
Is being a while I visited Rhonda and her kids, I don’t have enough money to take to her, I only have five shelling which can not do much, may be I will just visit like that to just check up and to give her the little with me,
Chakan doesn’t give shelling to his household slaves like Lord Reese does everyday, and Adolfo has given me one hundred and fifty shelling before which I took to Rhonda, Lord Reese gives all the house hold servants shellings everyday and Abel sometimes gives me money whenever he returns from his journey, I miss him, and also Lord Reese and Lady phin, I thought of Vim and wondered if he was back from his journey, I guess he got tired if me avoiding him and decided to move on, I think of the kiss in his chamber and his word “Tamar I love you”
I felt goose bomb all over me as Abel’s word began to echo in my ears as if he was sitting right there with me
“The heart of men holds deep thoughts like the ocean current, but even in our thoughts God sees it all, even before we say it out, God already knows it, nothing is hidden before God, he picked what is best for us and brings it to past, whatever that is pure and perfect, whatever that is good and not evil think only on those things, light and darkness has no friendship, let the light of God shine through you to the world Tamar…
I swallowed hard as I remembered Abel’s word to me, I quickly sat up and decided to go inside, Abel’s word makes me shut off Vim in my mind instead of dwelling on a thought which is impure I decided to say a word of prayer instead.
I stood up and quietly went inside, everywhere seem quiet, Chakan does not have much slaves only five of which Shamara was inclusive, two boys and three girls. If I’m counted among them, I Will make them six, I’m Zity’s personal maid so they don’t count me among Chakan’s servant, There is nothing much to do around here, most time the servants stays in their outhouse,
Everywhere was quiet, I was only hearing murmuring noise coming from Chakan’s chamber, I wanted to ignore but something pushed me forward, I was wondering who he was talking to, Zity was not back from her party with okra, the slaves were in the out house, so who’s he talking with or could he be talking only with himself, his chamber was locked, I heard a female voice, I wasn’t sure because it was all a murmur, no audible word, I couldn’t just make sense from what Chakan and who ever that was with him were saying,
as I stood there the door began to unlock and I quickly hide, and was looking from my hideout to see what was going on, I saw Shamara and my heart Skip, Chakan came out and when she was about to run back to the out house Chakan drew her to himself and pinned her to the wall and started kissing her
“Please stop, your Wife Will soon be back, I don’t want her trouble, haven’t you gotten enough of me inside, let’s not do this here, somebody may see us, her personal maid is sitting at the flower court, she may decide to come in and see us..please I don’t want trouble.
” nobody will give you trouble, Zity won’t give you trouble because she doesn’t really have to know, and Tamar likes sitting by the flower court until her mistress comes home, so Tamar is not coming in, the other servant has no business here until they are called upon, and I promise to protect you, don’t be afraid, I want you always Shamara, you are so Sweet please let me caress you a little before you go…
“We have to be careful, I want you more than you want me, I love the way you make out with me in your chamber, I wish I’m your wife, having you as I please, I’m only a servant here and I don’t want to run into trouble because of our Wild feeling for each other, you already know your wife does not like me because I’m more beautiful than her and she feels threatened by that, I really want to thread safe where you are, and we can only do this when she’s not around or you can pursue her and make me your wife, if you really want me, this hide and seek affair that we are having, I’m sincerely tired of it..
” Shamara, that’s enough, Zity remains my wife, despite she has being getting me angry this days, she is carrying my child too, I want you to understand that, let’s not act like kids, I wants you every second that Zity is not around and I know you want me too, return to your outhouse Will see you tomorrow, please don’t fail me, I’m all yours when Zity is out…
I watched as he kissed her one more time and Shamara responded without resistant and ran off immediately a chariot came in with Zity, Chakan returned to his chamber and I came out of my hiding place in shock to go and meet Zity, who seem so cheerful from her outing and she was smelling of wine, I lead her inside to her own chamber and put off her shoe, I soaked her legs inside warm water and wash them off, she said she was too tired to bath, so I put off her cloths and cleaned up her body while she doze off immediately her body hits the bed, I weaved back her hair into a ponytail and covered her up while she sleeps, Chakan came and stood by the door of Zity’s chamber, I felt so bad that he is having affair with Shamara, I wish Zity will stop following okra everywhere and stay back home,
“What is wrong with her…she has slept off again, is she drunk, is she alright…
” she is fine my Lord, I guess she took little wine which she’s not use to and….and felt so tired…but she’s fine and will come to chamber your tomorrow except you want to stay with her here to keep her warm through the night, she is cold and will love you to put a hand around her..
“She forgot that she’s carrying a child, how can she be taking strong wine in this her condition, I’m going back to my chamber, she want to live a free life then is fine by me, we Will all live the way she wants, I got no worries, I’m more concerned about my child that she is carrying, I just pray to the gods that nothing happens to my unborn child, Zity’s careless living should not dare affect my child or she will be very sorry, both she and okra her friend. Two stupid people, Who go about living anyhow like wayward women of this kingdom, forgetting that they are married, I’m off to My chamber…
He turned and Left angrily, I sat there staring at Zity as she snores on the bed and wondering how to reach her and to make her listen, following okra will not lead her to anywhere, okra is a road to nowhere, I wish she will realize that before is late.
I made my bed at another end and lay awake most part of the night as I kept imagining Chakan and Shamara, and wondered what Zity Will do if she finds out that her loving husband is having affair with his maid, Shamara who want him to chase Zity away so that he can marry her,
That was pure wickedness, how could Shamara be doing that, Zity has fear about her now they are coming to reality,
Okra us leading Zity astray while Shamara wants to take her husband from her and Zity is too blind to see all the things happening around her
I just silently pray it Will not be too late by the time she finds out.

TAMAR

Tamar-Episode 16

©Amah’s Heart

Zity and Adolfo were seriously working on their separation, they have both gone to see Lord Reese and Lady Phin, I did not go with them, Zity asked me to stay back at Adolfo’s house, and I did, they went their twice and I guess her parents later agreed, back at Adolfo’s house I watch as Zity was always acting harsh to Adolfo, who never paid her any attention, I felt pity for him.
one day I decided to speak to Zity
“My lady, are you sure you want to do this, have you thought it through…is it really what you want…please my lady, take it easy on Adolfo, you know he lost his wife many years ago, and now you are leaving him, he will feel like a failure, make him understand why you have to leave in a peaceful and understandable way, not in fight or trouble…it will make him have a sense of belonging…but if you still want to try and make it work with him, Adolfo will be so happy and you will see the good man in him and love him, I don’t want you to make a mistake, that was why I asked if this is really what you want…
“Yes, is what I want Tamar, you shouldn’t even be asking this because you know how much I have suffered in this marriage, is time to be free. Time to be with the man I really want, Chakan is all I want Tamar, not his father, I told mother and father they will never talk me out of it, I want to be free from Adolfo, I don’t love him and I can never love him, I need to breath and live the life I have always wanted, why do you even care what Adolfo feels or thinks, you should be more worried about me not Adolfo, I’m your mistress, so whatever I do you have to support me, either good or bad because you belong to me not to my parents or Adolfo, do you understand me Tamar…
“Yes my lady.
I went to see Adolfo in his study one day, and he was talking and laughing with Eura, he seem to be himself, as he speak with Eura, he looks happy not the worried man he use to be, since I came back he seem so unbothered with Zity attitude, I was glad that Eura brought back the sparkle in his eyes,
They were happy to see me as I joined them, and we talked and laughed, I later told Eura that I will like to speak to Adolfo alone and she bow and excused us
“You seem so happy Adolfo, you are not really bothered that Zity is leaving you…you don’t look sober at all..
“life present choices for us to make, mine was either to be sad, think about the unfortunate happenings in my life, think about my late wife, who died leaving me shattered and after years of being alone or to think about now, and how to find joy again even if is in a strange place, Tamar, when I decided to marry again, it was not just to marry but also to have a friend in my wife, a companion, a helper and supporter, I ended up with a young girl who has so much passion for life and want to live it to the fullest, a young girl whose parents forced into settling with me and I made her look miserable, I ended up with a lady who doesn’t like or want me like I do, I wanted it to work, I wanted her to see me as both her husband and a friend, and to respect me like she will do to her father, but I see that can never happen, I was already loosing my mind after loosing my son that she bore for me, I wish he was alive maybe he would have united I and Zity and make Zity see reason to love me, but I can’t force her ,Tamar I can’t do that anymore, she has made her decision to go and I have made mine to accept and be happy…
I was quiet as I wonder if Adolfo knows who Zity was planning to leave him for, has he found out, I wondered if Adolfo knows that it was his son chakan that has always being Zity’s wish, will Adolfo agree if he finds out, I also wondered if Chakan has accepted to marry his father’s ex wife, so many things was going through my mind as Adolfo speaks so I asked
“Do you know if Zity is planning to marry another man, or she just want to go back to her parent’s house, I mean…do you think she has another man…
“hahahaha, you are funny Tamar, you are Zity’s personal maid, you know what goes in and out around her, I suppose to be asking you that not you asking me, but I understand that you probably did not want to expose your mistress to any danger, and unfortunately Zity wouldn’t care if I know or not, but I do know, we all know who she wants, I knew it was because of her Chakan moved out, I knew she wanted my son, I started noticing when Chakan was still living here before he moved out, Zity always wanted to be around him, she ignores me whenever Chakan is around, she always want to be seen with him, she goes to his chamber uninvited, I have hard them argue over something which I refuse to pay attention to, is better I don’t listen to what may kill me, I refuse to know or believe that Chakan was having something with her, and when Chakan suddenly moved out I knew it was because of Zity, my son respects me so much and that’s is more reason I trust him, so he came down one day and I asked him, he stammered a bit, he didn’t want to say but I assured him it was fine, and he told me that him and Zity use to be lovers, he was the one Zity was coming to look for in the estate back then when I saw her, I asked him why he didn’t tell me all this while, despite I had this dream and my late wife came and said she will lead me to the light but if Chakan has told me about her I wouldn’t have put my leg, I know Zity’s father and mother will not want her to marry a younger man because of the general believe that the young will not value their wife but those with experience will, people give out their daughter to men older than them with at least ten years, so Chakan wouldn’t have gotten a chance to be with Zity. Later, i thought Zity has forgotten about Chakan and will come around but she never did, there was a day my son came and we talked at the garden and Zity brought drink only for my son, I had mine beside me already, but with the special way she treated the cup of drink by keeping it far from me it calls for questioning, but I did not think of it, I asked Chakan to go get me something inside and before he came back I have already finished his drink, which taste normal, I can’t forget the way I felt that day, after sometime, my body began to shake, but I held unto myself thinking I have had too much to drink, Chakan later left and I felt blown out of myself, my bladder was so hot I couldn’t even control myself, it was unlike me, the only thing I was thinking at that time was Zity, I wanted Zity, I needed Zity, I was going Crazy, as I ran to her chamber without thinking and…and forcefully lay with her without her consent, I swear to the gods of this land, I did not just know what happen to me, and I felt so bad when I got myself, she was weeping silently, I felt like beating myself, I felt stupid, forcefully making out with a woman, wife or not wife is totally wrong, so i apologise with everything possible, begging her to forgive me and she later did, so one day after months of this incident, I started thinking of the whole thing again, how I manage to fell into such act, and I traced it to the drink that was meant for Chakan which I drank, I just couldn’t think of anything else, I couldn’t think of anything that will make me behave the way I did that day but even at that. I decided to waved it off, counting on the impossibility of Zity doing such, she may hate me but she will not want to put love potion for my son to lay with her, It was impossible, where will she even get the portion when she hardly go out, she only have the merchant’s wife who comes around and they became close friends, well I took it off my chest, so recently as everything keep going bad instead of getting better between I and Zity, one day she came to my study, I was happy thinking she has come to check up on me which was unlike her, she told me she wanted out of the marriage, I pulse for sometime as she curse and swear that if I don’t let her go she will kill herself, she was shouting out on how she hates me and all that, she boldly told me she wanted to be with Chakan, that she and Chakan were meant to be before I came to marry her and has made her life miserable, she said she wanted chakan and anybody that oppose it, she will kill herself or run away, that chakan also wants her but has kept away because she got married to me, she kept talking angrily and i didn’t argue or say a word, Zity was only being childish and I totally understand and I wanted her to be with the person she said she wanted not withstanding that Chakan is my son, if Chakan still wants her then they should be with each other, she was surprise I said okay, I told her we will do the normal separation terms and she can be free again to be with whoever she chose to be with, she was happy at the end before leaving, I called my son and told him my decision of letting Zity go, I asked him if he still want Zity and he was shock at my question, I told him we are separating for good, I want her to be happy and I equally deserve to be happy, he was quiet for sometime as I urged him not to be afraid to speak and he said he doesn’t really want her, he has already forgotten whatever he and Zity had before, after she got married to me, I told him that he should try and see if it will work out between them since Zity wants him and made it known to me without shame, he said okay, he will do that….and here we are, by next week Zity will finally be free, I went to the parents the other day and spoke with them about separating from their daughter and they were shock, they sent for Zity and she came and insisted on what she wanted and lord Reese and Lady Phin apologise to me and I told them is all for the best, I watch as they try to talk to Zity but she was stiff-necked and told them they can’t change her mind, they made a choice for her which she regretted ever listening to them, she said she will never allow them to do that and that her decision will stand this time, and at the end they let her be. So once we are legally free from the marital vow we took she can be with Chakan as she has always wanted…
I thanked Adolfo for sharing the whole thing with me, I don’t know what will happen with him or if he will marry again but I’m certain that Zity was making a wrong choice, Adolfo was a good man, who loved her, I silently pray that Chakan will genuinely love Zity like his father did.
A day came and I followed Zity to Chakan’s house, I noticed that Zity has being going to his place even when I was back to Lord Reese house, Chakan seem pleasant to see her as we were ushered in by one of his slaves, the kitchen maid brought different delicacy for Zity, I saw one cleaning some sculpture on Chakan’s open chamber, the slave girl was tall and beautiful, and Zity felt threatened,
“When did you buy this one, she was not here the last time I came…
“four weeks ago, she was here, you probably did not see her or notice her, she is a tivi girl…is there a problem…
“Must you buy a tivi girl, they are usually lazy, they only knows how to look beautiful and flex their waist up and down seductively, I don’t like this one…sell her off,
“Why, why should I sell her when she has done nothing wrong…just because you don’t like her, Shamara is not what you take her to be. Take a grip at yourself Zity and stop acting like a spoilt child, this is my house…
“is also going to be my house soon…stop making me look like a stranger..
I don’t like the way you talk to me, is it a crime that I love you…what is even wrong with you, we are not married yet and you are already calling me spoilt child, what kind of man are you, I have always wanted you Chakan but your father came and overshadowed everything, he made my life a living hell, all I think of everyday is you…Adolfo was driving me crazy and..
“Zity, Zity that’s enough, enough of all this nonsense, you didn’t want my father, you made that obvious and we all get it, now we are getting back together, just like you have always wanted, learn to respect my father when you talk about him, learn to show some respect, he is still my father and will always be, I will not tolerate any insult from you, I am not so petty like my father you better know that…
I watched as Zity eye got soiled with tears and she wanted to cry and Chakan has to go and pet her again, I excused myself and went outside, and waited outside for a very long time and even night came and settled and Zity did not show up, at the end I have to ask Shamara were I can lay my head for the night since my mistress was here and Shamara showed me where to pass the night.
The following day Zity came out and we left,
after two weeks she found out she was pregnant for Chakan even before her wedding. She was finally separated from Adolfo and hurried up with the small union with Chakan, it wasn’t much gathering, it was just the family coming together to bind them in marriage and they were married.
I know it will not be all rosy with Zity, I know Chakan easily get offended and Zity will always want to cry to get his attention, but it may not work for her always, it was obvious that Chakan doesn’t love her like before, Zity still feels threatened with Shamara, Okra still comes around to Zity’s new home, I know things will get bad, but I’m asking God to help Zity in all of this, and also to help me.
now she is with the man she has always wanted to be with and she is already carrying his child, which is few weeks old, and Zity feel good with everything except when she sees Shamara pass,
I may not know what the future hold for everyone of them but I plead with God to be in the center of it, and to help me in all the trouble that is yet to come.

TAMAR

Tamar-Episode 16

©Amah’s Heart

Zity and Adolfo were seriously working on their separation, they have both gone to see Lord Reese and Lady Phin, I did not go with them, Zity asked me to stay back at Adolfo’s house, and I did, they went their twice and I guess her parents later agreed, back at Adolfo’s house I watch as Zity was always acting harsh to Adolfo, who never paid her any attention, I felt pity for him.
one day I decided to speak to Zity
“My lady, are you sure you want to do this, have you thought it through…is it really what you want…please my lady, take it easy on Adolfo, you know he lost his wife many years ago, and now you are leaving him, he will feel like a failure, make him understand why you have to leave in a peaceful and understandable way, not in fight or trouble…it will make him have a sense of belonging…but if you still want to try and make it work with him, Adolfo will be so happy and you will see the good man in him and love him, I don’t want you to make a mistake, that was why I asked if this is really what you want…
“Yes, is what I want Tamar, you shouldn’t even be asking this because you know how much I have suffered in this marriage, is time to be free. Time to be with the man I really want, Chakan is all I want Tamar, not his father, I told mother and father they will never talk me out of it, I want to be free from Adolfo, I don’t love him and I can never love him, I need to breath and live the life I have always wanted, why do you even care what Adolfo feels or thinks, you should be more worried about me not Adolfo, I’m your mistress, so whatever I do you have to support me, either good or bad because you belong to me not to my parents or Adolfo, do you understand me Tamar…
“Yes my lady.
I went to see Adolfo in his study one day, and he was talking and laughing with Eura, he seem to be himself, as he speak with Eura, he looks happy not the worried man he use to be, since I came back he seem so unbothered with Zity attitude, I was glad that Eura brought back the sparkle in his eyes,
They were happy to see me as I joined them, and we talked and laughed, I later told Eura that I will like to speak to Adolfo alone and she bow and excused us
“You seem so happy Adolfo, you are not really bothered that Zity is leaving you…you don’t look sober at all..
“life present choices for us to make, mine was either to be sad, think about the unfortunate happenings in my life, think about my late wife, who died leaving me shattered and after years of being alone or to think about now, and how to find joy again even if is in a strange place, Tamar, when I decided to marry again, it was not just to marry but also to have a friend in my wife, a companion, a helper and supporter, I ended up with a young girl who has so much passion for life and want to live it to the fullest, a young girl whose parents forced into settling with me and I made her look miserable, I ended up with a lady who doesn’t like or want me like I do, I wanted it to work, I wanted her to see me as both her husband and a friend, and to respect me like she will do to her father, but I see that can never happen, I was already loosing my mind after loosing my son that she bore for me, I wish he was alive maybe he would have united I and Zity and make Zity see reason to love me, but I can’t force her ,Tamar I can’t do that anymore, she has made her decision to go and I have made mine to accept and be happy…
I was quiet as I wonder if Adolfo knows who Zity was planning to leave him for, has he found out, I wondered if Adolfo knows that it was his son chakan that has always being Zity’s wish, will Adolfo agree if he finds out, I also wondered if Chakan has accepted to marry his father’s ex wife, so many things was going through my mind as Adolfo speaks so I asked
“Do you know if Zity is planning to marry another man, or she just want to go back to her parent’s house, I mean…do you think she has another man…
“hahahaha, you are funny Tamar, you are Zity’s personal maid, you know what goes in and out around her, I suppose to be asking you that not you asking me, but I understand that you probably did not want to expose your mistress to any danger, and unfortunately Zity wouldn’t care if I know or not, but I do know, we all know who she wants, I knew it was because of her Chakan moved out, I knew she wanted my son, I started noticing when Chakan was still living here before he moved out, Zity always wanted to be around him, she ignores me whenever Chakan is around, she always want to be seen with him, she goes to his chamber uninvited, I have hard them argue over something which I refuse to pay attention to, is better I don’t listen to what may kill me, I refuse to know or believe that Chakan was having something with her, and when Chakan suddenly moved out I knew it was because of Zity, my son respects me so much and that’s is more reason I trust him, so he came down one day and I asked him, he stammered a bit, he didn’t want to say but I assured him it was fine, and he told me that him and Zity use to be lovers, he was the one Zity was coming to look for in the estate back then when I saw her, I asked him why he didn’t tell me all this while, despite I had this dream and my late wife came and said she will lead me to the light but if Chakan has told me about her I wouldn’t have put my leg, I know Zity’s father and mother will not want her to marry a younger man because of the general believe that the young will not value their wife but those with experience will, people give out their daughter to men older than them with at least ten years, so Chakan wouldn’t have gotten a chance to be with Zity. Later, i thought Zity has forgotten about Chakan and will come around but she never did, there was a day my son came and we talked at the garden and Zity brought drink only for my son, I had mine beside me already, but with the special way she treated the cup of drink by keeping it far from me it calls for questioning, but I did not think of it, I asked Chakan to go get me something inside and before he came back I have already finished his drink, which taste normal, I can’t forget the way I felt that day, after sometime, my body began to shake, but I held unto myself thinking I have had too much to drink, Chakan later left and I felt blown out of myself, my bladder was so hot I couldn’t even control myself, it was unlike me, the only thing I was thinking at that time was Zity, I wanted Zity, I needed Zity, I was going Crazy, as I ran to her chamber without thinking and…and forcefully lay with her without her consent, I swear to the gods of this land, I did not just know what happen to me, and I felt so bad when I got myself, she was weeping silently, I felt like beating myself, I felt stupid, forcefully making out with a woman, wife or not wife is totally wrong, so i apologise with everything possible, begging her to forgive me and she later did, so one day after months of this incident, I started thinking of the whole thing again, how I manage to fell into such act, and I traced it to the drink that was meant for Chakan which I drank, I just couldn’t think of anything else, I couldn’t think of anything that will make me behave the way I did that day but even at that. I decided to waved it off, counting on the impossibility of Zity doing such, she may hate me but she will not want to put love potion for my son to lay with her, It was impossible, where will she even get the portion when she hardly go out, she only have the merchant’s wife who comes around and they became close friends, well I took it off my chest, so recently as everything keep going bad instead of getting better between I and Zity, one day she came to my study, I was happy thinking she has come to check up on me which was unlike her, she told me she wanted out of the marriage, I pulse for sometime as she curse and swear that if I don’t let her go she will kill herself, she was shouting out on how she hates me and all that, she boldly told me she wanted to be with Chakan, that she and Chakan were meant to be before I came to marry her and has made her life miserable, she said she wanted chakan and anybody that oppose it, she will kill herself or run away, that chakan also wants her but has kept away because she got married to me, she kept talking angrily and i didn’t argue or say a word, Zity was only being childish and I totally understand and I wanted her to be with the person she said she wanted not withstanding that Chakan is my son, if Chakan still wants her then they should be with each other, she was surprise I said okay, I told her we will do the normal separation terms and she can be free again to be with whoever she chose to be with, she was happy at the end before leaving, I called my son and told him my decision of letting Zity go, I asked him if he still want Zity and he was shock at my question, I told him we are separating for good, I want her to be happy and I equally deserve to be happy, he was quiet for sometime as I urged him not to be afraid to speak and he said he doesn’t really want her, he has already forgotten whatever he and Zity had before, after she got married to me, I told him that he should try and see if it will work out between them since Zity wants him and made it known to me without shame, he said okay, he will do that….and here we are, by next week Zity will finally be free, I went to the parents the other day and spoke with them about separating from their daughter and they were shock, they sent for Zity and she came and insisted on what she wanted and lord Reese and Lady Phin apologise to me and I told them is all for the best, I watch as they try to talk to Zity but she was stiff-necked and told them they can’t change her mind, they made a choice for her which she regretted ever listening to them, she said she will never allow them to do that and that her decision will stand this time, and at the end they let her be. So once we are legally free from the marital vow we took she can be with Chakan as she has always wanted…
I thanked Adolfo for sharing the whole thing with me, I don’t know what will happen with him or if he will marry again but I’m certain that Zity was making a wrong choice, Adolfo was a good man, who loved her, I silently pray that Chakan will genuinely love Zity like his father did.
A day came and I followed Zity to Chakan’s house, I noticed that Zity has being going to his place even when I was back to Lord Reese house, Chakan seem pleasant to see her as we were ushered in by one of his slaves, the kitchen maid brought different delicacy for Zity, I saw one cleaning some sculpture on Chakan’s open chamber, the slave girl was tall and beautiful, and Zity felt threatened,
“When did you buy this one, she was not here the last time I came…
“four weeks ago, she was here, you probably did not see her or notice her, she is a tivi girl…is there a problem…
“Must you buy a tivi girl, they are usually lazy, they only knows how to look beautiful and flex their waist up and down seductively, I don’t like this one…sell her off,
“Why, why should I sell her when she has done nothing wrong…just because you don’t like her, Shamara is not what you take her to be. Take a grip at yourself Zity and stop acting like a spoilt child, this is my house…
“is also going to be my house soon…stop making me look like a stranger..
I don’t like the way you talk to me, is it a crime that I love you…what is even wrong with you, we are not married yet and you are already calling me spoilt child, what kind of man are you, I have always wanted you Chakan but your father came and overshadowed everything, he made my life a living hell, all I think of everyday is you…Adolfo was driving me crazy and..
“Zity, Zity that’s enough, enough of all this nonsense, you didn’t want my father, you made that obvious and we all get it, now we are getting back together, just like you have always wanted, learn to respect my father when you talk about him, learn to show some respect, he is still my father and will always be, I will not tolerate any insult from you, I am not so petty like my father you better know that…
I watched as Zity eye got soiled with tears and she wanted to cry and Chakan has to go and pet her again, I excused myself and went outside, and waited outside for a very long time and even night came and settled and Zity did not show up, at the end I have to ask Shamara were I can lay my head for the night since my mistress was here and Shamara showed me where to pass the night.
The following day Zity came out and we left,
after two weeks she found out she was pregnant for Chakan even before her wedding. She was finally separated from Adolfo and hurried up with the small union with Chakan, it wasn’t much gathering, it was just the family coming together to bind them in marriage and they were married.
I know it will not be all rosy with Zity, I know Chakan easily get offended and Zity will always want to cry to get his attention, but it may not work for her always, it was obvious that Chakan doesn’t love her like before, Zity still feels threatened with Shamara, Okra still comes around to Zity’s new home, I know things will get bad, but I’m asking God to help Zity in all of this, and also to help me.
now she is with the man she has always wanted to be with and she is already carrying his child, which is few weeks old, and Zity feel good with everything except when she sees Shamara pass,
I may not know what the future hold for everyone of them but I plead with God to be in the center of it, and to help me in all the trouble that is yet to come.

TAMAR

Tamar-Episode 15

©Amah’s Heart

The day went with speed I kept avoiding Vim, when I see him coming I will take another road, I stayed mostly in my room, and try not to come in contact with him, my heart began to skip anytime I see him,
With the new realization that Vim loves me and kissed me first time in my life I was still in shock of that, anytime I think of it my heart beat increase, I could not concentrate in my prayers any more, whenever I start praying I will get distracted as my mind wanders around Vim,
when I was summoned to talk to Lord Reese and lady Phin about God, I lost my courage unlike me, and I felt like I was not walking in accordance to God’s will anymore, I was dwelling on the fantasy on being kissed and hearing Vim say that he loves me,
I told lady Phin and lord Reese to give me time, I did not want to say things that are not in line with God, I wanted him to direct me and I don’t feel led by him to speak at that moment because I was having a mind battle which I try to keep in check, I didn’t want to loose focus on the task ahead but when I thought I’m focused and I see Vim coming my heart began to beat, I started wishing Abel was around, I wish he will come home I needed to get back to my old self which I was loosing…
One day I counted all the shelling I had with me, I gathered the money, even the one Abel gave me before he traveled, I put it in my small leather back and left very early the following morning to see Rhonda, I wanted to be back before sunset, I don’t want my absence to be noticed, so I hurried up and got there on time, Rhonda was happy to see me like I was to see her, the twins and little Jon were doing well, I couldn’t stay for long as I gave her the money which will go along way for her, she thanked me as usual and I left, I ran most path of the dusty road, and got home just in time, before the sun set and I quickly washed off the road dust before going to assist in the household chores
Vim tried severally to speak to me but I was always on a run as I tried everything possible to avoid him despite I wanted to hear him tell me he loves me again and also hold me in his arm and kissed me like he did that day but something bigger than me was keeping me in check, so I kept avoiding him.
I ran into Obia one of those days while trying to avoid Vim
“the devil has return to take what belongs to me and to cause confusion again…
“Obia, nice seeing you too…how are you doing…
“It will never be nice to meet the witch herself, what are you doing here again Tamar, I thought they sent you away to Zity, did you steal or slept with her husband that made her to send you back here, you are not suppose to be here now that I was already finding favor before the master and mistress, I told them I can heal Lord Reese and I was given a chance to try my sorcerer power and it was a big opportunity, he didn’t get better but I was still burning incenses and invoking more power for his healing when you just appeared like a witch and took my glory, and now he is well and they are giving you all the gratitude that I deserve, which was meant for me, I wanted to heal him so that I can also gain back the heart of Vim, maybe he will like me again and allow me into his chamber, and if I’m allowed even once in his chamber again he will certainly become mine, because I will not be going there alone, I will ask all the seducing spirit and add anything that will make him remain mine forever… I had plan for everything now you have come again to scatter it, you have come with your strange being that follows you around like an aura, I don’t like you and I will make sure I find away to poison the heart of the master and mistress against you…
“okay, good luck in doing that, but the last time I checked, when you tried to poison their heart towards me by telling them I stole shelling and gave it out to people in the street, not knowing it was my shelling, you tried with that but it did not work out fine for you, quit trying Obia, because you will always be a looser, I assure you that, for greater is he that is in me that he that is in the world, for i bear the mark of the Lord.. I’m untouchable for the enemy and so is everyone in this house hold, quit from your sorcerer power and embrace the light so that you may live and have peace, I’m not afraid of you, I told you the last time that your god is fake, invoke their power, cut you flesh and bleed for them do all you want but is will come to nothing, I have a big God who is Alpha and Omega, and he has given his children power over the wicked…and in his name I rebuke you and every power you are using to operate, it will be rendered useless in Jesus name…
“ooh…stop, stop it, do not dare say that again, so you are a Christian, I see, Venus the goddess of kindness has delivered you into my hand, you are now at my mercy, and I will not listen to your plea if you beg me not to tell anyone, I will expose you, I will tell the master and the mistress, and I will also tell Vim that you are a Christian, they don’t know they have a Christian living in their house, and the kingdom hates them, you have exposed yourself, and I will make sure you suffer and die…the master must know of it…
I looked unbothered as I turn and walk away, she stood, surprising looking at me that I did not even beg her not to tell anyone and neither was I scared as I walk away, she did not know that both the master, his wife and son already knows that, being a Christian is not a news to them any more, Obia will be making fool of herself again if she goes to them with that.
Abel came back briefly and my heart was glad, I couldn’t wait to tell him what was going on, it was as if God hard my prayer and brought him home,
As i sat at the fountain that day with Abel, my intention was to tell him my little trouble but I don’t know how to start with it, and how he will feel about Vim kissing me or declaring his feeling, I sort for a better way to start the conversation
“you seem to like the port more than here, aside the work what makes it so interesting, you hardly come home whenever you travel to the sea port, tell me about your work and how many workers are there…why do you like that place more…
“I wasn’t meant to come back now, I was suppose to be there for the next three month before coming home, the port is a very lovely place, despite I have a lot to do there, I have enough time for God and I don’t feel interrupted or scared when I pray to God, every body working there are all under me, they are up to thirty workers, mostly slaves and few free men, I organised and make sure everything is properly done, work is still ongoing there at this moment, I like looking out into the sea, I stay up late at night, looking towards heaven and shouting praises to Yahweh, many workers there have come to know the one true God through me, and I keep building them, God led me to baptist those who believe and accepted Christ as their Lord and savior, I baptist them right there in the water as they embrace the love of God, I have intend to stay for two or three more months before coming but God put the desire for me to come home, he wanted me home, I felt it, I was afraid that something bad happened because of the zeal, I thought of lord Reese as I constantly pray for him and every member of the household, and you were also in my thought Tamar, and when I came home everyone seem to be at peace, and I started wondering why God brought me home, i will stay one week here, waiting for the purpose while God asked me to come down to manifest, after which I have to go back, because I have sheep at the port I need to pasture, which simply means, the new believer need to be feed with the word, encouraged and guided so that they will not fall out of faith and return back to their old ways…
“Abel, I have something to tell you….Vim… Vim kissed me after revealing that he loves me…he kissed me so deeply that I loosed my gut, it was so sudden I never expected it…
I watched as Abel pulse and stared at me without a word, he breathed deeply, and look out straight into the fountain before saying
“How…how it did happen…and where did this happen…
“I just don’t know, everything was so quick…it happened in his chamber…
“Tamar…In his chamber, what where you doing there…talk to me…did he hurt you…
“he did not hurt me, he was angry that I was trying to tell his parents about Christ as they summoned me and asked me to tell them about my faith, Vim didn’t like that and when he saw me at the passage he asked me to come to his chamber of which I did and he told me of his fears, which is very dangerous for me to go talking about my faith to people, and I asked him why he was so worried about me then he said that…that is because he love me, it was a shock for me on hearing that, I was still trying to get out of the shock, he moved closer and kissed me and when I pulled out from his arm I ran off and i have being avoiding him ever since…ever since the incident I seem to lose my courage and he is always in my thought, I constantly think of him and the kiss, when his parents summon me to speak to them again I have to excuse myself after telling them to give me time to get ready of which they did, I feel distracted a little and sometime feel I’m not walking in line with the holy spirit…
“I understand, do not worry Tamar, I’m here for you, I see you are the main reason God brought me back, I just realized that now, you needed help that was why God sent me home, and I’m glad he did, you know why you are distracted after Vim declared his love and kissed you in his chamber and you got blown away with that, is just because you had a wall of worldly fantasy built up in your heart, you have wanted to know how it feels like to be loved or to be kissed, you have imagined what being married or cared for by a man will feel like, either you have centered your imagination around me or around another man and when Vim made his intention known and then seal it up with a kiss, you began to love the feeling and the sensation he gave you, you got carried away with it, now, you can’t serve God and mammon, you have to chose one, either to serve God withholding nothing, serving him like your whole being depends on it, serving even if the world is crumbling around you, serving him and taking charge over your body and thoughts, making it impossible for the enemy to penetrate in, is okay to stumble once in a while, which defines your imperfection, but when you stumble and fall without quickly getting up and getting back in track you will become open to the enemy who has being hovering around and looking for away to get you off the right track, they will come with distraction, lost of word, weakness to pray or meditate, inability to spread the good news to people who needs it, it only start with little distraction, then confusion, follows by defeat. Tamar listen to me, for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness in this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places…you have to be on guard always, because the devil is not going to stop until he pulls you down and you don’t have to let him, don’t create room for him to penetrate and attack your spiritual life, this is not time to weaver or lose focus, Lord Reese and Lady Phin are going to be save and it will be through you, that is one of your assignment here, you have to pray and rebuke the devil so that he will flee from you, you can’t save the master and the mistress with a carnal mind, by the time you are telling them the word and how to be save carnally, word by flesh not as God directed you, when you are doing this thinking you are doing a great work for God, the devil is quietly whispering in their ears his own lies, they will feel distracted and will not know who is saying the truth any more, so whatever you say to them they listen with one ear and the word walks straight out from the other ear because they are distracted, the good seed you think you are sowing is falling on thorns, rocks and foot path where they will be choked, smashed and trampled under feet by men, so you have to rebuke the devil, you have to be spiritually inclined, you have to stand firm Tamar, don’t give room for distraction, you have to war against the devil and when he comes to take the seed that you are sowing away the holy spirit will let you know and you will rebuke it immediately, and with the devil gone the people you preached to will be willing to listen and understand the ways of God so that they can be save, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be save except Jesus Christ…salvation is found in no one else except through Christ… Vim will be your weakness, do not let him cripple your faith, war against any spirit using him, because the devil will use him to bring you down, Vim may truly love you like he said but he doesn’t know God, and he is open to the devil, and he will drag you down with him if you are not solidify in God, war against any power that will stand against the word of God, take down your wall of fantasy and be totally sold out to God, take charge or your world Tamar, and rule as God has given you the ability, Tamar…there’s a lot to be done, I cry ahead of time for you, I see trouble lurking around you, if you see what God is revealing to me you will beg him to take the cup away from you, like Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane before he was betrayed, Vim’s heart is harden and he can’t believe easily, it will take blood and tears for him to believe which means it will be hard. But there’s nothing the lord can not do, pray against the trouble I see lurking around your head, plead with God to take it away because is quiet consuming, God revealed that Zity will send for you tomorrow, Zity will soon be remarried and the worst is yet to come because of the woman i see beside her, who has the devil’s ear, be at watch. Get back on your knee, as you will be returning to your mistress, your time has passed in speaking with Lord Reese and Lady Phin about Christ, there will be other time to do that. God gives chances to people because God knows how weak we are, he remembers that we are only dust, our days on earth are like grass, like wildflower we bloom and die, the wind blows and we are gone as though we have never being here. I pray this day that the Lord will guide your every step, he will reveal himself to you, and speak to you heart as he speaks to me, he will take away the trouble the devil is trying to use to destroy you and give you wisdom to ascertain the good and the bad, may the Lord’s favor rest upon you Tamar, the wicked will see you and flee for you bear the mark of the lord Jesus. Be of good cheer dear because God is always with you.
I felt empowered, I felt something heavy taking off me and I fell on my knees as Abel prayed for me, I felt connected again with the holy spirit and when I returned to my chamber I kept praying,
The next day Zity sent for me just like Abel has said, and I left with Pami, Adolfo’s boy, who came to get me, after bidding the master and mistress goodbye, Vim was not around that day, I saw Obia smiling at one corner and I went to Abel who drew me into his arm and I was there for sometime as he muttered few prayers for me, he released me and look me straight in the eyes telling me not to ever forget who I am in God. I blink back tears and nodded, he kissed my forehead as if he was saying goodbye, he acted like I won’t see him again, I got scared and quickly rebuked the fear as I smiled to him and ran off to meet with Pami and we left
When we finally got to Adolfo’s house, Abel was right, Zity was planning to marry Chakan, Adolfo’s son when she finish separating from Adolfo, which was already in process, and Adolfo was so willing to finally let Zity go.

Next Chapter

TAMAR

Tamar-Episode 12

©Amah’s Heart

I felt serious head ach the following morning so I didn’t get up on time, as I sleep into the mid afternoon, Eura took up for me and when she told me that Zity asked of me and she told her I wasn’t feeling too well, she didn’t say much word, she just told Eura to tell me to take my time and rest well, after five days I felt a bit better to continue my work and when I reported to Zity that morning
“my lady, how are you this morning, my apologies for not being able to attend to you for the past few days, I was a bit down and I guess I needed to rest for some days for me to be active again and I’m alright now to work for you, how have you being?
“I thought you were angry with me for not wanting the baby and asking you to go dispose him, I thought you were angry…and avoiding me…
“I can’t avoid you my lady, I was called to serve and I will always be at your service, it doesn’t really matter if I’m angry or not, my feelings doesn’t count because only a slave and I’m here to help you…
“you know I never wanted the baby, and I could have aborted him even before anybody finds out but Okra delayed it and I have to bore him, the pain of carrying him and giving birth to him is just too much Tamar, he has already disfigured and disorganised my life even before he was born, I have gone through enough trouble already in bringing him fort, it wasn’t Okra that convinced me, don’t hate her she only want what is best for me, I didn’t want the baby too, I don’t, after Okra told me of what she did to hers, that she mistakenly bore, and how she disposed them, that was enough encouragement for me to throw away mine, and nobody’s opinion count, it was my body, so I can chose to do whatever I want with it, father and mother made a decision for me to marry Adolfo, which will be the last time I will listen to them, because I’m not happy in this so called marriage, no matter how I pretend I can’t love Adolfo, I can’t Tamar, neither do I want to have any child for him, well it was unfortunate I carried the baby and gave birth to him but I can’t just look at his face, Okra said it was better not to look at the baby’s face so that I won’t remember what he looks like or feel pity, or even allow the memory to torment me, I needed to do what I have to do, my happiness is my priority Tamar, I don’t want it to seem like I’m not doing my wife duties to Adolfo, please keep going to keep him busy so that Adolfo won’t even think of me, or come to disturb me in my chamber, I don’t want him I still want Chakan and is so painful whenever I think of him being with another woman, or with Zain, she has being avoiding me which probably means she has being seeing Chakan, I hate Zain, she’s such a bad friend, I hate Chakan for turning his back on me when I needed him and mostly I hate Adolfo for keeping me here, I don’t want to be his wife, I have never wanted to, and I feel even worst now, because…I know he is a good man and he deserve somebody that will love him but not me because I can’t love him Tamar, I can’t.
“my lady, you didn’t even ask where the baby was buried, is that how much you hate him or hate Adolfo…
“I don’t want to know Tamar, I don’t care wherever he is buried, and I will never ask…it is better that way, stop reminding me of what I’m trying to forget, stop telling me about the baby I don’t want to hear of it any more, do you understand
“yes my lady, I learnt that your father is ill, that was why your mother couldn’t come down, will you go and see him…
“I’m suppose to be mourning for my lost baby, if I go there now looking all cheerful they will have reason to ask questions of how the baby died and I don’t want anybody reminding me of that, is in my past now, I’m more glad that mother did not come, even if she has come down I wouldn’t have even allowed her know of my plans, or be there during delivery and she will have no choice than to respect that, I can’t go home now, I will pray to the gods from here to heal father, I suppose to act like I’m mourning for my late child, I can’t be seen moving around, Vim came to check up on me three days ago, he also asked of you and I told him that you are on a bed rest because the death of the baby has being tough on everyone, do you want to go home, because I don’t like the way you act around me now, making me feel guilty with your presence, and reminding me of my deeds, which I don’t have regret for, my only regret is conceiving him and not aborting him at the early stage, if you want to go home to mother and father, is fine by me, please go, I know you miss Abel, strange Abel, if I give you your freedom someday will you marry him, because I know you are fond of him, you are always seen around him, and looks upon him like he is a god, you love him right and you want to marry him…tell me
“Abel is a good man with a good heart, but he is not ready for marriage…
“you are trying to escape from the question of “if you love him”, we all know that he is a strange person and has never looked upon any woman for pleasure, even after father freed him, asking him to go and start his own family, he refused to go, everyone thinks he is a Christian practicing celibacy, but father always defends him, I don’t have any issue with what anybody practice, but Okra doesn’t like Christians, she said that the Christians act like they knows it all, and she hates that religion, she thinks you are a Christian or you practice Judaism because she has not seen you bow to any god before, or act like the maiden of the land, like Obia kind of worship or the tivi girls, she said she has seen you at the garden bowing your head and praying, you pray strangely she is not sure of the god you pray to but she thinks you are a Christian, I assured her that you are not, I have being with you for over five years now and I have never seen you pray or calling your God name out of sudden, I may not really know the god you worship but I assured Okra that you are not a Christian, Okra has big friends in high places who also hates Christian with passion and they are ready to send anyone they catch to the circuit animal, so you got to be careful with your Way of worship so it won’t be mistaken, will you like to go home, I need you to, so that you will keep mother away from coming down and have opportunity to see Abel, I will miss but is best that you go, I will send for you when I need you, but before you go I need you to take something to Okra in her house, is a gold jewel and a bracelet she saw it in my closet and wanted it, so I have decided to give it to her after she helped me. Take it to her because she said she will be traveling today and may not stop by…
I pick up the pouch that contains the gift for Okra and left to her place, when I got there, I was told she has already left on her journey but the merchant was inside, I wanted to see the merchant again, so I was ushered to where he sat in his upper house looking at nothing in particular
“My kind greetings to you my lord,
“How may I be of help to you young lady, I was told you wanted to see me
“i was sent to your wife, but in her absence I decided to say my greetings to you before leaving, do you remember me,
“I was told that you are from Adolfo’s wife, lady Zity, who seem to my wife acquaintance, you are lady Zity’s personal maid…or is there any other thing you want me to know
“You are absolutely correct, I’m also the slave girl you bought for forty shelling and sold for fifteen shelling because your wife didn’t want me, my head was bared, my hair was all shaved off and was wrapped with a turban and I told you then I was a Christi..an and you warned me never to say that to any one because it was forbidden in the land..
“oh the gods be praise, I remember everything, you have grown out with so much changes, you look different, I know is being years, I’m glad you were under a good household, Lord Reese, the second prime ruler of the kingdom is a good man, and being his daughter personal maid is a good credit, is because they found you worthy, I’m please to meet you again, please sit with me, my wife is on one of her unknown journey and won’t be back soon, I try not to worry of her in and out anymore, you came at the right time, what is your name again…
“Tamar, my lord, I’m glad to see you again, back then you told me that you are praying for a child, hope your prayers have being granted now
“not at all, the gods seem silent to my cry, and I guess Okra, my wife is also tired of the whole thing, that is why she is misbehaving, she doesn’t even allow me to touch her anymore because she thinks is a waste of time, she wanted to end the marriage but I pleaded with her not to leave me, I love my wife so much and i don’t want her to go, but she is insisting and I have not stop pleading, nobody knows the ways of the gods, Tamar, I wasn’t asking for too much one child was okay for me, I even suggest to my wife for us to go and take up one of the homeless children and call him or her ours but she warned me never to mention such again to her and I never did, how can you love somebody and still hates the person at same time, that’s the way I feel for Okra, I have try to accept my fate, if she wants to leave then let her go ahead, I will learn to be fine, she gives me too much trouble, she even has the boldness to tell me she was seeing another man of which i doubted and threaten to deal with any man I see close to her, but with the recent happening, her constant travelling which she doesn’t hide any more, I have learnt to just live everyday at a time, Okra is difficult to deal with and is sad to say that she may be a bad influence on Adolfo’s young wife, she may brainwash her and make her do her bidding that’s how commanding Okra can be…so tell me Tamar, what god do you worship now, I know you can’t still be a Christian
“well, I am, no other god like my God, I am exactly where god want me to be, my lord, with all due respect, nothing and no one can change that, you wanted me to worship lucrus, the god of fertility back then when I told you my faith, you shun me and asked me never to mention it again because is forbidden, and I even accepted whatever god you wanted me to worship so that I can have a roof over my head and food in my plate, but God has a better plan, by making your wife not to want me and when you sold me to Abel that young man that day, my faith was restored, and I’m stronger than I use to be, and nothing can change that, you have tried different gods, and yet you still feel empty, is because this gods can not offer you anything, they can only take from you but can’t give you the peace you seek, with so many god and goddess of this land yet the people in it are looking so helpless, there’s peace and liberty with my God, he gives it out abundantly to his children and those whose heart are pure…do you wonder why this kingdom hates Christian because they are afraid of their God, no one can contend with him, because him alone is almighty, and this people think by destroying God’s people they will become stronger or make mockery of God, they tried to wipe us out but we are like a seed we kept on multiplying…
“what a boldness, hmmm, you seem unafraid of anything, I know there was something special about you that day for me to have spent forty shelling for one slave, it was crazy yet I didn’t feel bad about it, neither did I tell anybody, not even my wife, I wouldn’t want you to die in the hands of this people who hates your kind, be careful, my wife, Okra, doesn’t like Christian, she hates them, but you act like an elder, I will not talk you out of your belief and my wife will never know of this but still be careful Tamar, I don’t know the plan your god has for you because he has lead me to buy you that day from the slave market and has already led me to meeting the boy I sold you back to, which was a great lost to me as a merchant who like making gain but I never counted on the lost rather I was glad you are safe. And I silently pray to the gods to protect you, I have not really paid much attention to a slave but you caught my attention Tamar, so just be careful in all your dealing so that this people will not cut your life shut, I’m glad you are well and may your God continue to protect you…
“Amen, Lord Lami, very soon and I mean soon, you will smile again, do not worry, everything will be alright. I will always pray for you, nothing can the enemy do to hurt you, I will be careful like I have always being, thank you for your time, let me be on my way now.
He nodded as I left, I walked out and report back to Zity that the merchant’s wife has already gone on her journey. Before I left for Lord Reese estate, I checked up on Adolfo the following day who has returned to his study
“I’m glad you are better now my lord, I was worried about you..
“I’m glad to see and hear that somebody really cares for me, thank you Tamar, I will be fine, I have not seeing Zity since after the birth and I know she doesn’t want to see me, I have come in term with that fact, I’m not going to ever force her, love suppose to come natural, what I still don’t understand is why my late wife gave me that message in my dream that she will lead me to the way, Zity has not lead me to anything except sadness and more loneliness, I have given chance hoping she will come around but I’m ready to let her go, I want her to be happy she can’t live the rest of her young life feeling sad and hating me, she is beautiful and ,many young men of her age will die to have her, I’m ready to call off this marriage Tamar, what do you think…
“do whatever you think is right my Lord, I’m glad you made that choice of letting Zity go, it will be better that way, you two can’t keep being sad, is not right, this is not how marriage suppose to be, Zity may not be the actual person that will lead you to the way that your late wife spoke about, but the person is going to come through her, and Zity has played her role in that aspect, now let the seed germinate and let it grow
“You are young and wise Tamar, you are more of a great companion to be than Zity ever was, and I will miss you when I finally let Zity free, I will miss you greatly,
“I will miss you too my lord, I will be going back to Lord Reese, he is ill, and Lady Phin needs help, so I want to go and help out in any way I can, I will assign Eura for you, anytime you need somebody to talk to, please kindly call on Eura, she will be a great companion to you just as I have being, I have trained her in the right way, she will gladden your heart with many philosophy, someday you will smile again and all your worries will be forgotten
Adolfo took my hands and squeezed it gently with a smile
“I don’t know the god you serve, I don’t serve any, I only have time for my studies, and pray to the general gods like a normal person does, but you make me want to know who you are and what god you serve, I’m grateful for the time you spent with me, and amy your God bless you greatly Tamar, and may Lord Reese gets well soon. Eura, I have seen you and her together in the garden and I will be glad to have somebody like you close to me, you are a wise child, your kindness will pave way for you Tamar. If you ever need anything tell me and it will be yours
I smiled and thanked him, and I thought of the baby and Rhonda, I will find away to get money across Rhonda, maybe from Abel, as I was about to leave, Adolfo gave me money to buy something for myself, and I thanked him, when I took it to my room and counted the money it was one hundred and fifty shelling, it was huge, and I felt relief, because I will first of all journey to see Rhonda before going home.
I talked to Eura that night and told her not to be afraid to tell Adolfo about Christ, but first of all let her behavior, her character make way for her, people needs to see the kind of person she is first and the kind of life she lives for them to be convinced enough to follow her and She listened.
Eura hearkened to my voice, I hugged her the following morning and went to Zity who bid me farewell, I thanked Lami, Adolfo’s boy for all his kindness, and I promised to return once everything is settled, I left but not home straight I went to see Rhonda and to check how the baby was doing. I bought somethings with the money Adolfo gave me and I will give her enough money for the baby’s upkeep, she must not depend on the midwife or her little trade to feed herself, the twin girls and Zity’s son.
I journeyed to Rhonda, following all the road me and the midwife passed that night, until I got there, she was happy to see me like I was to see her, Zity’s son was feeding in her arms, and the twins were helping her to sell her off her small trade so that they can have food to eat, I brought out all the things I bought for them and she was really happy. I got to know that her husband was a Christian before he died.
I was glad that God led us to Rhonda that night, she will bring the children in her care up in the ways of the Lord, not the ways of the pagan gods of the land.

Next Chapter

TAMAR

Tamar-Episode 8

©Amah’s Heart

I sat quietly beside Abel at the fountain as he shot his eyes and began to pray silently to only my hearing, I wanted to shot my own eyes but I need to know when someone is coming, so i waited for him to finish praying so that I can tell him all that’s on my mind.
“if I have a thousand tongues is never enough to thank you, I’m always grateful to you alone Lord, for all your mercies towards me and this household, and also to Tamar, the girl you lead me to find and save, who lost everything but never lost you because you can never be lost, you are ever present in time of need, and always rescues us from trouble, out of no way you have made a way, I thank you for my successful journey, you made it possible, you led me out and brought me back because you said in your word that our going out and coming in shall always be blessed, I returned back in peace not in pieces and met everyone I left behind in perfect order, I’m grateful for this, oh Lord, only you deserve the glory, only you Lord not the empty gods of this land, for you say those who make them are like them, in wisdom I ask that you will always guide us, and may we always find favor before men and women, take away our fear and give us boldness to stand out for you, the people of this land are lost in darkness, they hates anything that comes from you, please father, help them to see the light that they may come to know you and the power in your name. Thank you Lord for our answered prayers, in Jesus name…..
I replied with a calm Amen, he bowed his head for sometime without opening his eyes, and when he later did and turned to look at me I was looking at him, smiling and wishing I have his kind of faith, we stayed quietly looking out to the water fall and it’s pleasurable noise, I just imagined God’s wonderful work, no human has being able to comprehend the way God works.
“I was told that Zity has being married off…and she will send for you later, do you ever wish to be married some day…
I had this fine feeling, like a butterflies in my stomach when Abel looked at me and asked the question, my palm was sweating as I began to blush, I have lay in bed many times and wish for many things, a God fearing man like Abel, I imagined having beautiful kids and growing a family who loves God, I wish for many thing yet I’m just a common slave who can’t have anything until I’m set free by my owner, will Zity ever agree to set me free, it can only be when a free born of the land or somebody like Abel shows interest in getting married to me, only then will I be free but I’m stuck with Zity for now, and I will serve her because that’s what I’m called to do,
Abel took my sweating hand into his and covered it into his huge palm
“Why do you feel uncomfortable with the question, don’t you want to have a family of your own someday…oh. Sorry, If I’m making you uneasy, you are fully growing into one of the most beautiful maiden, is being almost four years I was led to you, Tamar, time flies so fast, you are no more the scared, worn out, naive little girl I bought from the merchant for just fifteen shelling, I have told you on that first day that you are special and you truly are, I know you have worries but first in everything love the lord, put him first, in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall give you the desires of your heart don’t be define by where you find yourself instead standout and be a vessel of honor to everyone who comes in contact with you…
I kept quiet as Abel spoke, I have few question that has being bothering me, so I asked
“the people of this land, they do different abominable things, and most of the food we eat here are given to their gods first before preparing it for the consumption of the house, sometimes, I get scared while eating, praying quietly that nothing happens to me, if I have a choice I will never eat any of those their cursed food…
“rejoice, because you have something to eat, who are you to call the food bad, when the Lord has not said so, for whatever the Lord made is pure and good, for many are looking for such opportunity, to live in a house filled with plenty to eat, a fine household like this place. what they do before or after the food is being made shouldn’t bother you, all that matters is you give thanks to one God who made every food and drink possible for you to have it, not to a wooden or iron god carved by mortal men, Tamar, don’t be scared of eating any food in this house, for what you eat does not defy you but the word that comes out of your mouth does.
“You seem to have answer to many questions Abel, I overheard somebody say that you are on celibacy, you don’t have interest in women…is that true, you don’t want to have a family of your own someday
“celibacy for now because I lost to the world and gain from the Lord, I know you will not understand, I have not seen who to start a family with yet, Tamar,I walk according to the Lord’s direction, he leads I follow, if it pleases him for me to remain this way till when he calls me into glory then I will gladly stay pure for him, I don’t live for myself, I live for God alone, i don’t want to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever, Tamar, for our body is the temple of the lord and it should be kept clean all the time so that he can live in us and direct our ways, we shouldn’t defy it with the things of this world, we should keep it holy because the holy spirit which is our comforter and advocate does not dwell in a dirty environment or in a confused body, so we should keep our self clean and pleasing to the lord, if you follow the world they will lead you wrongly but follow the lord’s way and find your footing.
“I have really missed you Abel, your world is always an encouragement to me, I always feel so close to God when you are around, filling me in with the word, I thank God everyday for you, I could have lost it, I would have probably ended up like them, the people of this land, if not for you. If I haven’t say it before or have never said it enough, thank you, thank you again and again for…for… Everything…
The day continues, and during my spare time I sit with Abel and allow him fill me in with the word,
Lady Phin called me one day that the husband, Lord Reese wanted to see me and I went straight to his chamber, lady Phin sat beside him, Vim was there, Obia one of the maids was also standing there, Lord Reese spoke up first
“Obia, repeat exactly what you told us about Tamar…
“my lord and lady, I caught her again, Tamar was giving money to somebody, sometimes different men, some are even women, she is a thief, she usually steal the master’s money and go out to buy something and also give to some people by the way to the market, and also the road that leads to the temple, I followed her without her knowing and I found out where those people stays, I’m not lying, I have seen her severally, sometimes is either money or she buys things…if I lie let twail the god of thunderstorm strike me dead, I have seen her many times before coming to report her to you my lord, I could have gone to Abel but Abel was on a journey then, and Abel may choose to favor her, that’s why I came here.
Vim looked at me and bent his head, Lord Reese and Lady Phin were both staring at me, I bent my head not in shame or because Obia reported me to them but because that was a normal thing to do, i was afraid, yes, I was, but something within me wanted me to be bold like a lion, but I fear for what they will do or say to me, the room fell silent after Obia narrated in details what I did…Lord Reese spoke again
“Tamar, you know what we do to people that steals, do you know what we do to slaves who steals from their master or mistress, we tire their face and body to a tree and bare their back open, we give them hard strokes of an intertwined whip until they bleed and make sure that the whip tears their skin, we leave a scar on them which will always remind them never to steal again, why will you steal from us, you have everything at your disposal, we treat everyone in this house fine, better of than how must household treats their slaves, I thought you are a good girl , that was why I wanted you for my daughter, taking things that doesn’t belong to you is bad and that is stealing, you stole and then take the money to somebody in the market street and temple road, why Tamar…
I breathed deeply, I try to speak but I couldn’t, Vim looked up at me before saying
“Father, I don’t think Tamar stole the money Obia saw her with, probably Zity gave it to her, we all know that Tamar doesn’t steal, and why will she start now, I don’t believe Obia, is probably not Tamar she saw because she can not do such a thing, she…
He suddenly stopped as his parents stared at him surprisingly with the way he defends me, I saw Obia boiling in anger as Vim spoke in my defense, I was also shock to hear him defends me the way he did, I never expected it, I thought he will support Obia, and with what happened between me and him at the fountain, I thought he hates me, his parents returned their look back to me, urging me to speak up on where I got all the money Obia said she saw me with, I summoned courage and spoke, still with my head bent.
“the master gives us one shelling everyday, I kept mine, and after sometime, I found out I have no need of it, everything I wanted was in the house, I have being blessed with so much here, I have good food, good cloths and fine shelter, while there are so many beggars in the street who barely have anything to eat, so…so I shared it for them, and I sometime buy food and wears with my shelling and give to them…I have never stolen before, my Lord… I’m sorry if what I did is against the law of the land or of this household, I was touched by so many beggars anytime I pass through the market street and temple road…I apologies my Lord and my Lady
Everywhere became silent again, Lord Reese asked Obia to leave his chamber after warning her not to bring any news that she wasn’t sure of to him ever again, she bow and left immediately, I can see anger written all over her as she walks out, Vim was looking at me, Lord Reese seem to be out of word, he looked at me and smiled, while Lady Phin spoke up
“My husband, I have told you I will sell Obia, she is filled with envy and jealousy, she is so bitter and has seductive spirit. I will sell that girl off, she is getting out of hand. Tamar, why will you give out the only possession you got, your one shelling which the master gives to all the household slaves everyday, is just a shelling which is not much, you gave them up to beggars, I…I’m touched by your kind heart, you don’t have much yet you gave up the little you have to street beggars who are not even your people, you don’t need to apologies my child, the one shelling is yours to do whatever you want with it, you are a good child and has proven it in different ways, I’m always glad that I chooses you for Zity, please get your things ready, Zity has sent for you, is been five months already she has being married, she sent message last month for you to come but we were already use to you and didn’t feel like parting with you, she has sent another message this month that she will come and get you herself if you don’t come back to her, so we are ready to let you go back to her, we will really miss you Tamar..
I smiled and bow without a word, Vim who seem uncomfortable with the news of me going back to Zity spoke,
“father, mother…Zity has many servants and maids in her husband’s estate, the last time I went there, she has many people attending to her, why do she still want Tamar, I don’t like that Adolfo son, Chakan, he may want to take advantage of Tamar…I don’t like the idea of sending Tamar to Zity, I cares for her well being like every other person, that’s all, slaves are also humans too, if you still want her to return to Zity no problem…
“she belong to your sister Zity, Vim what is going on with you, why the sudden care for Tamar, Tamar is a special child, she is not like your April or Obia, hope all this your care is pure, stay away from her if your thoughts are not pure towards her. you baffles me, I don’t even understand you again Vim, what is this your sudden change all about my son, I wonder when you start caring so much for a slave. anyway, if the gods permit, Tamar will return to your sister in a week time, she belongs to Zity not to us, Adolfo will not allow harm to befall anybody under his care, and Zity will not allow Adolfo son to come close to Tamar, and with what I heard, Chakan is a good young man, so bury your worries my son, we all cares about Tamar’s well-being too.
I was later dismissed, and I got ready to return to Zity, a day before I left, I saw Obia, at the back house, burning incense and crying out to her stone god, I stood very close and watch her, she turned and rolled her eyes at me and continued doing her enchantment, I waited there until she was done and approached her fully,
“Obia, I’m not angry with you for reporting me to the master and mistress, I understand you didn’t know that the money you saw me spend was all mine, I don’t steal, I have no reason to do that, it will only make me ungrateful if I ever do such…
“Why are you telling me this, what do you want…you almost interrupted my conjuration, my evening enchantment, don’t ever come close to me if you see me in the mood of service to my god, who blesses my sorcerer powers…
“why does your enchantment sound like you were crying out of agony, was your god oppressing you, do you think your so called god cares about you…I know we have freedom to worship anything and anyone we choose to, if this is what you have chosen then I leave you alone, but just tell me what your god has ever done for you ever since you have being in service to it…
“you better mind what you say, because Venus, the goddess of both love and kindness doe not take likeness to insults, If you want to know what Venus has done for me, I will tell you, I prayed to her to make lord Vim to fall for me, and she granted my desires, and lord Vim started wanting me, and suddenly after few years of you being here, Vim does not look at me or want me any more, I listened to the way he defends you inside the master’s chamber, it seem you came and used your charm to turn his eyes from me to your side, and makes Lord Reese and Lady Phin to take likeness to you also, Vim, now wants you instead of me and I also saw the way he looks at you most time, do not even mistake it for love because Lord Vim is not capable of loving anyone, he will use you and dump you like a vulture to a carcass, I just burnt incense to Venus the goddess of kindness to favor me and bring him back to me and also to make me find favor before the master and mistress, I ask Venus to destroy every power you are using to get luck from our owners, I have tried different seducing prowess for Vim and it did not work, I will pray everyday, sacrifice animals, roll on the floor, I will pour earth dust on my body and cut myself with a blade until I bleed, I will let Venus drink my blood, I will burn candles and incense to Venus if that’s what it will take to get Vim back, because when he is on my side I can get away with anything, someday I dream of being his wife and owning this entire palace and estate, it will be a day of joy,a day come true. Venus has already started working for me, goddess of kindness has began to favor me, Venus has taking obstacles off my way, obstacles like you, I heard that Zity sent for you and will be returning to her so Venus has began work already and very soon it will be perfected, just watch and see…
I shake my head in self pity for Obia, and walked away from her, she acts like one of those temple prostitute, so fetish, she can do anything to get Vim to her side, and I was never in any competition with her, Vim does not even like me, he probably defend me that day because God wanted somebody to stand up for me after the accusation from Obia. All I’m concerned about is returning to Zity, she needs me.
Adolfo’s slave, a young boy came for me the following day and I hugged and waved Abel good bye, I will miss him so much, he said a quiet prayer for me as I went to meet him before leaving, but I feel comfortable he is not too faraway, i also carried beautiful memories that we shared together in my heart, those praying time by the fountain and undiluted word he gives me anytime I’m with him, I cherish every moment I spent with him, is always life changing.
I waved everyone goodbye and left with the Adolfo slave boy who came to get me and he also helped me with some of my things, I saw Vim watching from the top roof of his chamber where he stood, with a sad stricken face, and as I crosses the streets still within his father’s estate and i look back Vim was still up there looking at me. I silently prayed that Obia’s sorcerer powers doesn’t work on him.

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TAMAR
Tamar-Episode 1 


©Amah’s Heart

“This one doesn’t look too good…too white like the flakes, too thin, too ugly, too weak, too much hair filled with lice…just too much of everything…how much does she go for…
“do not underestimate her…her look maybe deceiving…she is as strong as a Camel, she walked 100 miles from the sahara to the lakey Iceland, I swear with twail, the god of thunder and storm, she maybe thin and frail but she is one of the strongest…and she is going for thirty five shelling…that’s the price my good friend..
“hahahaha, I can’t pay such a big amount for her, I will pay twenty shelling, we are into same business and you know that she doesn’t worth it, everything count when purchasing a slave, the look and body count but she got none, she just got big eye ball and I want to buy her because you said she is strong, I just hope you are saying the truth when you say she walked from the sahara to lakey Iceland…
“is true my friend, I swear to you with the god of thunder remember, I can’t lie with the name of twail, twail strike down those that lie with his name… she is worth the price I gave you…you can pay thirty instead of thirty five shelling, I’m giving you a good price, take her…
“Well, I don’t believe in any god, I worship money, because money answers all things..i will pay twenty five, if you are not selling then I will move to another dealer, I don’t have time to waste on some useless slave…
“okay..ok bring the twenty five shelling…
I watch as the first dealer counted the money before handing me over to the second man, he was happy to be free from me, I have being with him for long and nobody has being able to buy me off, and when he finally sold me he was happy because he was not totally at lost, he bought me in the sahara, a slave market, after the merchants offload us from the sea to shore, he bought me for twenty three shelling and sold me for twenty five, after walking under the scotching sun and arriving at the present port.
The second dealer made me walk so fast as he led me with other slave through a passage way, we all seem to be between eleven and seventeen years, not more than that and I was the most frail I among them, I was tired, I was hungry and thirsty yet I have no right to complain because I’m only a slave, my fate has being predestined, but I’m not scared, I maybe in a foreign land filled with different gods, carved in different shape and sizes, I might have lost mother and father, with Joe my brother, Kathrine and Deb my two sisters to the cold hand of war, but I’m not scared.
mother has died in my arms, she has died of starvation, after the war break out, Joe has gone out in search for food but was captured by the soldiers, and killed, he was dump in the same piles of dead body, where father was thrown after he was killed, I watch from the tiny hole of our room as they set them on fire, and the smoke went high, I shot my eyes and held my breath for some second thinking I was going to die too, but I didn’t die, I needed to be strong, and after Kathrine, my sister died that morning and mother who has being ill for long gave up in the evening, I began to doubt my faith, I have question and I needed answers, I held my only remaining blood, my sister Deb, she sobbed in my arms and I hushed her severally to be quiet while trying to hold myself from screaming, so that we will not be heard, we were quiet with everything, the soldiers maybe passing, they are going from house to house to make sure that they clear off each household, any noise from us will attract them faster, I and Deb cleaned mother and Kathrine up, we combed their coyly hair into bond, and dressing them up, pretending like they were asleep and will wake up soon, that was my wish, that everything happening around us was a bad night mare, but it was real, real and close to the skin, mother was very beautiful even as she lay in death, she was at peace, I sat beside her and watch her and just hoping some part of her body will move to signify that she was still alive but nothing moved, I checked her up and it was so cold, I held her hands into mine, hoping my warm hands will warm up her cold hands up, but still nothing happened, Deb was looking out into the long street from the tiny hole I created, I see everything from their, Deb was all I got now, I use to have my elder brother Joe, and my two younger sisters, Kath and Deb, and also my loving parents, but not again, I only got Deb who was the youngest and was nine years, Kathrine was eleven years, she loved God passionately, she was the strongest among the three girls, she was kind and yet God was not merciful enough to save her from dying, he allowed her to die and allowed mother also who stand for uprightness and truth to go too, leaving the weak ones, my faith was weak, I look weak physically yet I got strength of ten people in me,
I know what mother will say in this present situation, she will say “Tamar, don’t let your heart be troubled, in everything rejoice, this world will pass one day but our soul belong one true God, even if he allows us to be strike with famine and sickness he will heal our land and restore our health, for in him we live and move, in him we have our being…
Deb has called my attention to the hole and i saw soldiers approaching our door, my stomach tightens, my heart skip, I wanted to hide Deb but if she stays in here she may probably die of starvation, I don’t want to loose her, I thought of what to do, with mother and Kathrine lying dead on the bed which seem like they were sleeping and with Deb shaking all over from fear, my whole faith weakened, I couldn’t do anything, and the soldiers hit our door with their boot, they were two they came in and I held Deb as she cry and shake, I was trying to be brave like father will do but not this time, i was truly afraid, I don’t know what fate holds for us, outside was deadly yet inside was lonely and smells of death, nowhere was safe to stay,
the first soldiers looked us up while the second passed to where mother and Kath lay peacefully, the first soldier swear as the second one calls his attention to mother and Kathrine’s dead body in bed, the first stepped out and called a wooden trucker, which they use in evacuating the dead, they threw in mother and Kathrine into the truck carelessly and the pusher pushed them to where dead bodies are kept and burned, I cried, I screamed, I want to hold mother for the last time, I want to check if she will shake, I want to look upon her beautiful face and be strengthened but she was gone, I will never see her or father or Joe and even Kathrine again.
as I was dragged outside with Deb, I look up to the sky and began to curse, I hated God, I hate him for allowing so much bad things into the world, and for letting the wicked to oppress the helpless, I hate God for allowing father to be killed in the street, father was a religious leader and he was a faithful follower of God, and yet he was killed, Joe was a young man who was trying to follow every of father’s step, he became the breadwinner when father died, he was sixteen years, and was killed as he went in search of food, God allowed hunger and sickness to take my mother and my sister Kathrine, leaving me with Deb, what kind of God is that, if he was strong enough he could have save us, and stopped the war, why do bad things happen to good people especially people with a good heart like mother and father, God allowed it.

You can also read related story from same Author: PRIESTESS OF KEBRA

I have unanswered question, I was filled with anger as they push me and Deb to a big open square where other surviving people where kept, we crawled upto our knees and sat on the ground, holding each other. Whatever lays ahead was far bigger than what I can face, I silently hoped I will die too, because life was like a pure definition of hell.
Deb has died after five days, she got flu in the open square and started coughing blood, I tried everything even prayed to God despite I was angry with him, I have prayed if he can save my only remaining sister I will love him again, I will apologize for every bad thing I said to him or did, I will serve him more than I have ever done, but God was silent, the flu traveled with speed all around Deb’s body, there was no good water and food, to properly care for her, I used the piece of cloth tied to my waste to cover her up from the night cold, I stayed awake through out trying to warm her up with my own body, Deb was my only family if she die what will I do, I kept begging God, but God didn’t hear me, he didn’t listen, Deb died in the middle of the fifth night at the open square, and the soldiers came to take her away, I still couldn’t believe she was gone…she
“hey, walk faster or I will be force to use the whip on you, I don’t want to touch you because you look too frail and look like you will drop dead any second, I want to resell you and make even if is a little gain from you, I gave that dealer twenty five shelling for you, and is way too much, I shouldn’t have spent such amount, you look weak and I wonder how you managed to trek from the Sahara to the Iceland, that dealer must be a good liar swearing with twail because he doesn’t want you to get stuck in his hand…I hate to waste money because money is my god, now tell me the truth…do you trek from sahara to lakey Iceland?
I looked at the man stone face, he distracted me from my saddened thought, I’m still wondering why I’m still alive, the thin and weakest one of my family, I have being shipped, smuggled like an ordinary goods, being under cold and heat, being hungry and thirsty, I have gone from hand to hand of slave dealer and yet I’m still alive, the only thing that have not happened to me is rape, I watch as other beautiful slave girls get rape in the cabin but any of the dealers that get’s to me will look me all over shake their head and walk past, I don’t look like a good food to them, only my deep white big eye balls with my full coyly hair a gene I got from my beautiful mother which was now covered with lice and dirt will scare them away and they tag me ugly, which was an added advantage too, being frail has saved me from some bad things, I was strong enough inside, I have enough strength to walk and run miles but it was never shown in the physical, my slim nature was deceiving anybody that comes in contact with me, the dealer that sold me off thought I will drop dead along the way from the sahara but he was surprise I made it, while some other slaves dropped dead and they were left there to be devoured by wide animals, just the thought of wide animals feeding on me was enough to keep me moving.
“answer me slave girl before I serve you to the circus animals by the entrance gate, you are just a mouthful to them, nothing in you will be enjoyable, speak up or can’t you speak , don’t you have a voice..
“I can speak sire, yes, he was right, I trek from the sahara to the lakey Iceland…
“then, that’s good, let’s keep going, you still have lots of trekking to do, I just hope your body can carry it, and that your hair will be cropped shot, it stinks, I wish you will be a good sale for me because I don’t deal with loss I like making profit…
am ready for whatever that comes, and I also hope I end up as a house hold slave not as a temple slave, where slaves are used to serve different gods, the land we are in are filled with pagan worshipers, there are different gods here, in every square and stops, hanged on trees and houses, everybody choose what they want to worship, but the faith I was birth in was never allowed here, is a taboo in this place.
But I will be giving a choice to choose the god I want to worship here if I end up as a household slave in a good house, or I will serve my master and mistress, is well expected of every slave to make their master or mistress their god, whom they will serve for the rest of their lives, I’m not afraid, I use to be but not again, I have seen too much calamities in my young life to be scared of anything.
Wherever fate lead I will follow.

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